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some people believe that young people should be free to select their carrier such as job however other think that they should realistic about their future

some people believe that young people should be free to select their carrier such as job however other think that they should realistic about their future gWV5D
Nowadays finding jobs and occupation for the young inhabitant is the most challenging issue. Some people hold the view that the youth citizens should be free for selecting their jobs, whereas other argue that in many case, young people should consult more to one mature person about their future to find better occupation. There is a rational argument on both sides of this contentious topic which will be discussed in detail, followed by my own take on this matter. On the one hand, there was those reasoning that restrication and limited behaviour towards young people for selecting the job cause vararity of personal characteristic problems such as reduction of creativity. In the other words, whenever someone have too many force for selecting one option, he or she can not be creative to generate new idea. Take the traditional exepection among parent about being doctor or engineer for most of their sons as an example. Under this condition, one person does not have any chances to claims his or her own idea. This is in turn can affect their personallity in adverse manner and they can not find the favorite job for their future. On the other hand, the opposing view asserts that most of the young people can not choose the best option for their future due to the lack of experience in their life. To put it differently, in many cases, the experience about the condition for occupation can show valuable information to young people. Moreover. it helps young people to be realistic about their job and future. For instance, most of young people want to be artist. They think that this job can provide more benefit for them for their life. However, after consulting with one experineced artists they can slecect better choice for their life. As consequence, in my opinion, most of young persons in our society should be more realistically about their future in order to slecet the best occupation for their life. To conclude, There are valid arguments on both sides of the controversy; on balance, however, it is my firm conviction that most of the young people should think more realisticly about their future and they could have better option for their life through the consulting with one exeprienced person on the specific job.
Nowadays finding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occupation
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
inhabitant is the most challenging issue.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold the view that the youth citizens should be free for selecting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, whereas other argue that in
Possible agreement error. The noun case seems to be countable; consider using: "many cases".
many case
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should consult more to one mature
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
to find better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occupation
. There is a rational argument on both sides of this contentious topic which will
be discussed
in detail, followed by my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
take on this matter.

On the one hand, there was those reasoning that
Possible spelling mistake found.
restrication
and limited
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for selecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
cause
Possible spelling mistake found.
vararity
of personal characteristic problems such as reduction of creativity. In the other words, whenever someone
The pronoun 'someone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
too
Possible agreement error. The noun force seems to be countable; consider using: "many forces".
many force
for selecting one option, he or she can not be creative to generate new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. Take the traditional
Possible spelling mistake found.
exepection
among parent about being doctor or engineer for most of their sons as an example. Under this condition, one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
does not have any chances to claims
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. This is in turn can affect their
Possible spelling mistake found.
personallity
in adverse
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
manner and
they can not find the favorite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
for their future.

On the other hand
, the opposing view asserts that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not choose the best option for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
due to the lack of experience in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. To put it
differently
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases, the experience about the condition for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occupation
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
valuable information to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Moreover
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be realistic about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
For instance
, most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to be artist. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
can provide more benefit for them for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
However
, after consulting with one
Possible spelling mistake found.
experineced
artists they can
Possible spelling mistake found.
slecect
better choice for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. As consequence, in my opinion, most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
in our society should be more
realistically
about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
in order to
Possible spelling mistake found.
slecet
the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occupation
for their life.

To conclude
, There are valid arguments on both sides of the controversy; on balance,
however
, it is my firm conviction that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
more
Possible spelling mistake found.
realisticly
about their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
future and
they could have better option for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
through the consulting with one
Possible spelling mistake found.
exeprienced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
on the specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
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IELTS essay some people believe that young people should be free to select their carrier such as job however other think that they should realistic about their future

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
380 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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