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Some people believe that you should strictly control your children’s behavior, while some others believe children should be free to choose their behavior. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that you should strictly control your children’s behavior, while some others believe children should be free to choose their behavior. dlg1E
The period of childhood is the most critical stage in the lives of children. Some people think that children must be monitored and under surveillances during their childhood. Others have no such strict rules upon children. However, for many reasons which will be mentioned below, I strongly believe that children must be controlled by their families. The first reason why children have to be put under notice is that they cannot distinguish between what is right and what is wrong. To illustrate, every family is solely responsible for its children behaviour. In other words, their parents must know how and what kind behaviour their children are heading to. Such knowledge will immensely help the family to maintain their children and provide them with a good conduct. Consequently, such children will be of a noble and great behaviour. The second reason why children must undergo strict rules of behaviour is that they are the pioneers of future. In other words, children should be taught and instructed with a good pattern of behaviour which appeals to all those around them. Additionally, the family is the first who can implement such way in order to be able to cope with their lives properly. Hence, having obtained and acquired such good behaviour, children are expected to be the future-makers who will excel in their lives. To recap, it is without denial that children should be subjected to strict rules of behaviour. This will direct them to the right path and will tremendously contribute in shaping their future. So, every family is advised to do the above in order to produce a promising and noble child whose contribution in society will be of great importance.
The period of childhood is the most critical stage in the
lives
of
children
.
Some
people
think
that
children
must
be monitored
and under
surveillances
during their childhood. Others have no such strict
rules
upon
children
.
However
, for
many
reasons which will
be mentioned
below, I
strongly
believe that
children
must
be controlled
by their families.

The
first
reason why
children
have to
be put
under notice is that they cannot distinguish between what is right and what is
wrong
. To illustrate, every
family
is
solely
responsible for its
children
behaviour
.
In other words
, their parents
must
know how and what kind
behaviour
their
children
are heading to. Such knowledge will
immensely
help
the
family
to maintain their
children
and provide them with a
good
conduct.
Consequently
, such
children
will be of a noble and great
behaviour
.

The second reason why
children
must
undergo strict
rules
of
behaviour
is that they are the pioneers of future.
In other words
,
children
should
be taught
and instructed with a
good
pattern of
behaviour
which appeals to all those around them.
Additionally
, the
family
is the
first
who can implement such way in order to be able to cope with their
lives
properly
.
Hence
, having obtained and acquired such
good
behaviour
,
children
are
expected
to be the future-makers who will excel in their
lives
.

To recap, it is without denial that
children
should
be subjected
to strict
rules
of
behaviour
. This will direct them to the right path and will
tremendously
contribute in shaping their future.
So
, every
family
is advised
to do the above in order to produce a promising and noble child whose contribution in society will be of great importance.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that you should strictly control your children’s behavior, while some others believe children should be free to choose their behavior.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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