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it is a good idea to let people continue to work in their old age if they are possible to do so. do you agree or disagree

it is a good idea to let people continue to work in their old age if they are possible to do so. rGXJn
Along with the massive development of society, more and more elderly people want to be financially independent and have no desire to become somebody's burden. Thus, It is suggested that depending on their health condition senior citizens should be permitted to continue working. In this essay, I will analyze the reasons why I strongly agree with this viewpoint. To begin with, having had permissions to keep on working can be very beneficial for the old themselves. In fact, it could improve both their mental and physical health. by being able to work, the brain can be put to work more annually, which can decrease the ability to have remembering problems and diseases such as Alzheimer's. Moreover, they can make new friends and socialize with others more often. In other words, they can be connected with society and reduce the possibility to suffer from a feeling of being isolated and lonely. More importantly, allowing senior people, whose health is in an appropriate condition, to work can largely support the government. Since the elderly to be financially independent, the money to support retired citizens can be eliminated. As a result, the government may use that extra budget on other things namely building infrastructures or helping disabled people. Hence, their country would be even closer on the pathway of reaching sustainable development In conclusion, letting healthy people keep on working on their senior years could create positive impacts on their lives as well as the government. Thus, I totally agree with this point of view
Along with the massive development of society, more and more elderly
people
want to be
financially
independent and have no desire to become somebody's burden.
Thus
, It
is suggested
that depending on their health condition senior citizens should
be permitted
to continue working. In this essay, I will analyze the reasons why I
strongly
agree
with this viewpoint.

To
begin
with, having had permissions to
keep
on working can be
very
beneficial for the
old
themselves. In fact, it could
improve
both their mental and physical health.
by
being able to work, the brain can
be put
to work more
annually
, which can decrease the ability to have remembering problems and diseases such as Alzheimer's.
Moreover
, they can
make
new friends and socialize with others more
often
.
In other words
, they can
be connected
with society and
reduce
the possibility to suffer from a feeling of
being isolated
and lonely.

More
importantly
, allowing senior
people
, whose health is in an appropriate condition, to work can
largely
support the
government
. Since the elderly to be
financially
independent, the money to support retired citizens can
be eliminated
.
As a result
, the
government
may
use
that extra budget on other things
namely
building infrastructures or helping disabled
people
.
Hence
, their country would be even closer on the pathway of reaching sustainable development

In conclusion
, letting healthy
people
keep
on working on their senior years could create
positive
impacts on their
lives
as well
as the
government
.
Thus
, I
totally
agree
with this point of view
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IELTS essay it is a good idea to let people continue to work in their old age if they are possible to do so.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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