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Some people believe that women should be treated as equal to men when applying for a job with police or a military. Others think that women are less suitable for this kind of job. Discuss both viees and give your own opinion

Some people think that men women should have the same educational opportunities for applying to police or military. However, others argue that women’s ability are not appropriate for this type of job. Having the same number of men and women on this occupations is simply unrealistic. Applicants number on this jobs depend on the requirements that the government receives. If a government decided to fill the professions with equal numbers of males and females, it would need enough applicants of each gender. In reality, many jobs are more popular with one gender than the other, and it would not be be impracticalto aim equal number of proportions. For example military and police jobs tend to attract more male applicants, it would be difficult to fill the courses, if fifty percent of the places needed to go to females. Apart from the practical concerns expressed above, l also believe that it would be unfair to base admissions for applying to military and police on gender. Government should continue to select the best candidates for police or military to their qualifications and physical abilities. If a male student is the best candidate for a place in job, it would be wrong to reject her in favour of a female applicant with lower power or fewer qualifications. By way of conclusion, I once reaffirm my position is that the selection of a candidate for military or a police should be based on ability and qualification, it it would be both impractical and unfair to change selection procedures based on gender.
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Some
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people
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think
that
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men
women should have the same educational opportunities for applying to
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police
or military.
However
, others argue that women’s ability are not appropriate for this type of job.

Having the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women on this occupations is
simply
unrealistic.
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Applicants
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
on this
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jobs
depend on the requirements that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
receives. If a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
decided to fill the professions with equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of males and females, it would need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applicants
of each gender. In reality,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are more popular with one gender than the other, and it would not be be impracticalto aim equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of proportions.
For example
military and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
tend to attract more male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applicants
, it would be difficult to fill the courses, if fifty percent of the places needed to go to females.

Apart from the practical concerns expressed above, l
also
believe that it would be unfair to base admissions for applying to military and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
on gender.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should continue to select the best candidates for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
or military to their qualifications and physical abilities. If a male student is the best candidate for a place in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, it would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
to reject her in favour of a female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applicant
with lower power or fewer qualifications.

By way of conclusion, I once reaffirm my position is that the selection of a candidate for military or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
should
be based
on ability and qualification, it it would be both impractical and unfair to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
selection procedures based on gender.

IELTS essay Some people believe that women should be treated as equal to men when applying for a job with police or a military. Others think that women are less suitable for this kind of job. Discuss both viees and give your own opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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