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Some people believe that women should be able to join their country’s army and police forces. Others believe that only men should be allowed to work in these areas. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that women should be able to join their country’s army and police forces. Others believe that only men should be allowed to work in these areas. 1oW6y
Should women be allowed to join the military and security forces in their country? The debate is whether it is fair for a woman to expose herself to the same risks as a man in combat situations. Many countries have quotas for employing female soldiers or police officers, but some do not allow them. This essay will discuss both arguments, in favor and against, allowing women to serve in the armed forces. There are many arguments for and against the idea of women joining the military or security forces in their country; each side offers compelling reasons why they feel that way. The argument for women to serve in the military and security forces states that, in many countries, women already occupy positions in the army and police forces with men. Those who argue for women being allowed to serve point out that not only are there many countries where this is the norm, but, more importantly, they say that it has improved the army and the police force. However, those who argue against allowing women to join claim that there will always be higher risks for women in combat situations or law enforcement scenarios than for men, simply because they are different physically. They also believe that it is a woman’s traditional role to take care of her family rather than go off on some adventure and put themselves in danger. I believe there should not be any restrictions on who can join the security forces - men or women alike - because then we are discriminating based on gender, which goes against our modern societal values.
Should
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women
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the military and
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security
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forces
in their
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country
? The debate is whether it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
for a woman to expose herself to the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
in combat situations.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have quotas for employing female soldiers or police officers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them. This essay will discuss both arguments, in favor and against, allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
to serve in the armed forces.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
arguments for and against the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
joining the military or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forces
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
; each side offers compelling reasons why they feel that way. The argument for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
to serve in the military and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forces
states that, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
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women
already occupy positions in the army and police
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forces
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
. Those who argue for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to serve point out that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
are there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
where this is the norm,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, more
importantly
, they say that it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
the army and the police force.

However
, those who argue against allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
claim that there will always be higher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in combat situations or law enforcement scenarios than for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
,
simply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
physically
. They
also
believe that it is a woman’s traditional role to take care of her family
rather
than go off on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
adventure and put themselves in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.

I believe there should not be any restrictions on who can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forces
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
alike
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
then we are discriminating based on gender, which goes against our modern societal values.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that women should be able to join their country’s army and police forces. Others believe that only men should be allowed to work in these areas.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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