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Some people believe that watching television is bad for children other people believe that watching television is educational for children which opinion do you agree with and why give specific details and examples in your answer

Some people believe that watching television is bad for children other people believe that watching television is educational for children which opinion do you agree with and why give specific details and examples in your answer B2g9
Watching television is source of entertainment for both adult and children although it have some negative effects but more positive impact on children development. I agree with the latter notion due to psychologycal development and behaviour change which I elaborate in next paragraph. Firstly, it is true that watching television has some advantages as well as disadvantages but with the help of watching television they devloped not only physically but also psychologycally because they learn mind related activities moreover on screen they see anything with related to their mind exercise. for example if parents aware their children about motivational stories and comics based they will become a sharp minded person and well educated as a result parents had better to allow their children to watch television for their mind development. Secondly, watching television not only effective for psychologycal development but also for become a social member of society as well as provide Good career related opportunities. while with the help of television children become multilingual. we known being be-lingual and multi-lingual open numerous avenues for human being to explore the world more. moreover, it also provide to human skills to communicate with other members of society and enhance their personality. for example on TV they watch their role model and wanted to become like them and started to adapt new skills like them. therefore, it lead to person become good person and to earn name and fame for make better future. To conclude, watching television is most important in term of cognitive development and being social human being. so I think it is a best way to explore their children talent and provide better knowledge. obviously, to aware about the society and world.
Watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is source of entertainment for both adult and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
although it
Did you mean "has"?
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter notion due to
Possible spelling mistake found.
psychologycal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
which I elaborate in
next
paragraph.
Firstly
, it is true that watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages
as well
as disadvantages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
they
Possible spelling mistake found.
devloped
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
physically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
psychologycally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they learn mind related activities
moreover
on screen they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
anything with related to their mind exercise.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example if parents aware their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about motivational stories and comics based they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a sharp minded person and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well educated
as a result
parents had better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
for their mind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
Secondly
, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
effective for
Possible spelling mistake found.
psychologycal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a social member of society
as well
as provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
career related opportunities.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
multilingual.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
Possible grammatical error. You used a past participle without using any required verb ('be' or 'have'). Did you mean "knew"?
known
being be-lingual and
Do not mix variants of the same word ('multi-lingual' and 'multilingual') within a single text.
multi-lingual
open numerous avenues for human being to explore the world more.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
moreover
, it
also
Did you mean "provides"?
provide
to human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to communicate with other members of society and enhance their personality.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example on TV they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
their role model and wanted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
like them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to adapt new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
like them.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
therefore
, it
Did you mean "leads"?
lead
to person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
person and to earn name and fame for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
better future.
To conclude
, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in term of cognitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
and being social human being.
Use a comma before 'so' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
so
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
best way to explore their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
talent and provide better knowledge.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
obviously
, to aware about the society and world.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that watching television is bad for children other people believe that watching television is educational for children which opinion do you agree with and why give specific details and examples in your answer

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
283 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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