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In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. PKE2
An increasing number of people will consider travelling locally than foreign for their holidays. In my view, in the future, people will likely choose to visit abroad more than local as will be argued in this essay. As humans, we are always tempted by beauty, whether it is related to people or nature. While many countries lack beauty and tourism sports, others are beauty rich. It is commonly believed that cold places are prettier than hotter, along with them their people. Therefore, everyone escapes the hot seasons and visit the colder places for their holiday as this is financially appealing. Because of the energy cost to adjust the temperature to live in a hot or cold season, people like to spend that time in other places. Take the example of Swat, Pakistan, famous as the Switzerland of Asia, contributes 30% to the national gross domestic product, people around the globe visit and spend their summers there as the city offers cheaper accommodation and food prices. Other than tourism, spending holidays abroad offers many other advantages such as public relations and business growth. Going to such places in-person, people will learn what they lack and what I can offer to sell. This certainly is helpful in the long run and keeps a balance between the imports and exports. Also, travelling abroad, people can enjoy the taste of cultural exchange and local shopping, which are otherwise unavailable in the same country. Finally, people have the urge to visit abroad than visiting local places due to local politics and confrontations between cities and provinces. In conclusion, owing to the benefits discussed above, selecting other countries for holidays is wiser and is advantageous than travelling in own country.
An increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will consider travelling
Use "(locally)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
locally
than foreign for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
. In my view, in the future,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will likely choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
as will
be argued
in this essay.

As humans, we are always tempted by beauty, whether it
is related
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
or nature. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
lack beauty and tourism sports, others are beauty rich. It is
commonly
believed that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are prettier than hotter, along with them their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Therefore
, everyone escapes the hot seasons and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
the colder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
as this is
financially
appealing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the energy cost to adjust the temperature to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a hot or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
season,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to spend that time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. Take the example of Swat, Pakistan,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
as the Switzerland of Asia, contributes 30% to the national gross domestic product,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the globe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
and spend their summers there as the city offers cheaper accommodation and food prices.

Other than tourism, spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
offers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
advantages such as public relations and business growth. Going to such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
in-person,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will learn what they lack and what I can offer to sell. This
certainly
is helpful in the long run and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
a balance between the imports and exports.
Also
, travelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can enjoy the taste of cultural exchange and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
shopping, which are
otherwise
unavailable in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have the urge to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
Use "(abroad)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
abroad
than visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
politics and confrontations between cities and provinces.

In conclusion
, owing to the benefits discussed above, selecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
is wiser and is advantageous than travelling in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.

IELTS essay In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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