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Most people agree that money cannot be happiness. Why is happiness difficult to define? How can people achieve happiness?

Most people agree that money cannot be happiness. Why is happiness difficult to define? How can people achieve happiness? B27a
There is no direct relation between money and happiness. Happiness varies from person to person which makes it difficult to define happiness. However there are several ways by which happiness can be achieved. To start with, happiness is a subjective feeling. It is different for different people. It completely depends on an individual's choice and needs and that too keeps on changing with time. For an instance, if a chocolate is given to a child it can be his path towards his joy, but when the same child grows up the same chocolate might not mean the same to him. Secondly, few people find happiness in materialistic possession whereas few get it by just communicating or spending time with their family members or near and dear ones. To examplify, someone living in a foreign country earns heaps of money but is not able to spend time with family members or friends does not get joy of having a good company to share everything. Moreover, there are numerous ways by which happiness can be achieved. Starting with the accomplishment of goals. If desires are fulfilled in less time or as per the expectations it brings happiness in a person's life. Moreover, change in routine can also help a person to be joyous. For instance, celebrities who have a very happening life seems to be happy for the outer world but deep down they know what they actually feel. So to find happiness they like to do charity to help needy people and underprivileged children. To sum up, it can be said that being in the state of joy differs for everyone but if the needs and desires are satisfied it can help a person to achieve happiness.
There is no direct relation between money and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Happiness
varies from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it difficult to define
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
there are several ways by which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
can
be achieved
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is a subjective feeling. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. It completely depends on an individual's choice and needs and that too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
on changing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. For an instance, if a chocolate is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to a child it can be his path towards his joy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when the same child grows up the same chocolate might not mean the same to him.
Secondly
, few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
in materialistic possession whereas few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
communicating or spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their family members or near and dear ones. To
Possible spelling mistake found.
examplify
, someone living in a foreign country earns heaps of money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
is not able to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with family members or friends does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
joy of having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
to share everything.
Moreover
, there are numerous ways by which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
can
be achieved
. Starting with the accomplishment of goals. If desires
are fulfilled
in less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
or as per the expectations it brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
in a person's life.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in routine can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to be joyous.
For instance
, celebrities who have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
happening life seems to be happy for the outer world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
deep down they know what they actually feel.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
they like to do charity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
needy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and underprivileged children. To sum up, it can
be said
that being in the state of joy differs for everyone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if the needs and desires
are satisfied
it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
.

IELTS essay Most people agree that money cannot be happiness. Why is happiness difficult to define? How can people achieve happiness?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
286 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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