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Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behavior. What is your opinion?

It is generally believed that people these days are more exposed to violent acts seen on TV and video games. Some claim that this can lead humans to a dangerous future and can harm the society on a major scale, while others say the consequences are minor and not worthy of taking them into consideration. I am inclined to believe that PC games and social media have a huge impact on people’s attitude and causes corruption among people. Due to the uncontrolled use of media, people can go under different influences according to their acquired values and standards in life. Firstly, the social status of a person can be manipulated. Violent acts shown on T. V. might act as a provocative seed in the lower end of the society, or people with unhealthy set of minds. It can trigger their negative side of imagination upon certain issues, such as justifying crimes like robbery, rape and violence against humanity. Furthermore, the popularity of video games has increased due to the emergence of portable devices. And unfortunately, people in every age group have access to all sorts of games and visuals. In the contemporary world teenagers want to act as adults, so they tend to play +18 games online or offline. As a result of such act, they can become addicted to drugs and alcohol. Based on an academic research done in WHO, more than a thousand youngsters have been addicted to drugs and alcoholic drinks. To conclude, in the light of the information given above, I firmly believe that social platforms and medias can enormously affect the people living in a society. I also believe that the authorities should set rules about restrictions in using TV and video games considering different age groups.
It is
generally
believed that
people
these days are more exposed to violent
acts
seen
on TV and video
games
.
Some
claim that this can lead humans to a
dangerous
future and can harm the society on a major scale, while others say the consequences are minor and not worthy of taking them into consideration. I
am inclined
to believe that PC
games
and social media have a huge impact on
people’s
attitude and causes corruption among
people
.

Due to the uncontrolled
use
of media,
people
can go under
different
influences according to their acquired values and standards in life.
Firstly
, the social status of a person can
be manipulated
. Violent
acts
shown on T. V. might
act
as a provocative seed in the lower
end
of the society, or
people
with unhealthy set of minds. It can trigger their
negative
side of imagination upon certain issues, such as justifying crimes like robbery, rape and violence against humanity.

Furthermore
, the popularity of video
games
has increased due to the emergence of portable devices. And unfortunately,
people
in every age group have access to all sorts of
games
and visuals. In the contemporary world
teenagers
want to
act
as adults,
so
they tend to play +18
games
online or offline.
As a result
of such
act
, they can become addicted to drugs and alcohol. Based on an academic research done in WHO, more than a thousand youngsters have
been addicted
to drugs and alcoholic drinks.

To conclude
, in the light of the information
given
above, I
firmly
believe that social platforms and medias can
enormously
affect the
people
living in a society. I
also
believe that the authorities should set
rules
about restrictions in using TV and video
games
considering
different
age groups.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behavior. What is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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