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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, However ,believe that school is a place to learn this.

In the salad days of Millenium, the society is almost equal regarding the notion that parents should teach the children how to be good member of the society. However, others believe that right place of learning these such things in school. This essay will further elaborated my views for which place is good for children to learning something and thus will lead to a logical conclusion. Analysing the statement and explaining further the firstly some people says that parents should guide the children how to deal with a society. We can see the parents are the first teacher of kids. Parents should teach basic qualities such as respect, honesty, and how to speak with elders. Parents should teach those qualities at early age because in that age children mind have fresh fresh and they easily learn such things. Moreover I think parents should be careful about teaching kids the moral values and responsibility which they spend to society. Firstly, kids trust on their parents and because they are their first teacher, if parents should teach children how to perform with front of society and which duties they performed in society they will definitely learn easily. Analysing further, Some believe that the right place of learning anything that is a school. Due to the fact, parents not have sufficient time to spend with their children. Now, both of parents mostly employed and they believe that they spend huge amount of money to school. So, school is a good place to learning. In addition to it, in school kids will learn more about how to work together with their friends in a team and that thing make children to be a good team member. In school children have learning environment so they learn quickly. In my opinion, I believe that both play a crucial role in children life. Children learn many things from both as well parents and school. So, I think if both give information about society to children they learn with different way and they know about how to perform with elders and team member due to the fact they learn those things from parents and teachersand also friends.
In the salad days of
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Millenium
, the
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society
is almost equal regarding the notion that
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parents
should
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teach
the
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children
how to be
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good
member of the
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society
.
However
, others
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believe
that right
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place
of
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learning
these such things in
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school
. This essay will
further
The modal verb ‘will’ requires the verb’s base form.
elaborated
my views for which
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place
is
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good
for
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children
to
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learning
something and
thus
will lead to a logical conclusion.
Possible spelling mistake. ‘Analysing’ is British English.
Analysing
the statement and explaining
further
the
firstly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If ‘people’ is plural here, don’t use the third-person singular verb.
says
that
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parents
should guide the
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children
how to deal with a
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society
. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
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parents
are the
first
teacher of
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kids
.
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Parents
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
basic qualities such as respect, honesty, and how to speak with elders.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
should
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teach
those qualities at early age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in that age
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children
mind have fresh
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
fresh and
they
easily
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learn
such things.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
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parents
should be careful about teaching
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kids
the moral values and responsibility which they spend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Firstly
,
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kids
trust on their
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parents
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are their
first
teacher, if
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parents
should
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teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
how to perform with front of
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society
and which duties they performed in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
they will definitely
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learn
easily
.
Possible spelling mistake. ‘Analysing’ is British English.
Analysing
further
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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believe
that the right
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place
of
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learning
anything
that is
a
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school
. Due to the fact,
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parents
not have sufficient time to spend with their
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children
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, both of
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parents
mostly
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
employed and
they
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believe
that they spend huge amount of money to
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school
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
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school
is a
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good
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place
to
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learning
.
In addition
to it, in
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school
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kids
will
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learn
more about how to work together with their friends in a team and that thing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
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children
to be a
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good
team member. In
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school
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children
have
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learning
environment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
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learn
quickly
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
my opinion, I
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believe
that both play a crucial role in
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children
life.
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Children
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learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things from both
as well
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parents
and
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school
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
if both give information about
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society
to
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children
they
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learn
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
way and
they know about how to perform with elders and team member due to the fact they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
those things from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
teachersand
also
friends.
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IELTS essay Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, However, believe that school is a place to learn this.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
359 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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