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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children. WA7k
Free service has suggested to serve the country, but it is ignored by many people. The students ought to participate in community service as a part of their studies which is done freely. I completely agree with this opinion and I think that helping to others make them strong. First of all, I believe that, pupil ought to spend their free time with charities. By that the older people will benefited in many ways as well as students. While sharing or gaining their experiences with older people helps to tackle the difficulties, which they have to face in the future. Secondly, socialize with the neighbours to create awareness on environmental issues. These days many individuals are spoiling the surroundings without knowing the value of it. These are to be taught by the students, what they have learned in schools and colleges while conducting campaigns. For instance, a famous school in Hyderabad, started a programme called “Plastic Recycling” to create awareness among the people. Thus, helped the society, to learn their faults from the students about environmental concerns. Last but not least, nowadays, most of the children are getting ill due to unawareness of fitness. Secondary school students ought to involve with the youngsters while teaching them the importance of physical activities in their daily life. In fact, institutions are not encouraging the children to do sports. They became commercial these days in order to get ranks. Therefore, to avoid the serious health issues, children have to exercise regularly to maintain their body physically fit. To conclude, service to the community has to be done freely and it should be implemented in their studies as a part of their coursework. In my opinion, it is an added advantage while implementing in school curriculum for children to learn the behavior and skills which are needed in their later life.
Free service has
The verb 'suggested' is used with the gerund form: "suggested serving".
suggested to serve
the country,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
ought to participate in community service as a part of their studies which
is done
freely
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that helping to others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them strong.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I believe that, pupil ought to spend their free time with charities. By that the older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will benefited in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. While sharing or gaining their experiences with older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
helps
to tackle the difficulties, which they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face in the future.

Secondly
, socialize with the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
to create awareness on environmental issues. These days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals are spoiling the surroundings without knowing the value of it. These are to
be taught
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, what they have learned in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and colleges while conducting campaigns.
For instance
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in Hyderabad,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
a
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
called “Plastic Recycling” to create awareness among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Thus
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
the society, to learn their faults from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
about environmental concerns.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, nowadays, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are getting ill due to unawareness of fitness. Secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
ought to involve with the youngsters while teaching them the importance of physical activities in their daily life. In fact, institutions are not encouraging the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to do sports. They became commercial these days in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
ranks.
Therefore
, to avoid the serious health issues,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
exercise
regularly
to maintain their body
physically
fit.

To conclude
, service to the community
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be done
freely
and it should
be implemented
in their studies as a part of their coursework. In my opinion, it is an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
advantage while implementing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to learn the behavior and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which
are needed
in their later life.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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