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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children) To what extent do you agree or dis agree?

Whether or not the schools should include the community-service activities into the unavoidable senior year programs without payment is the issue of interest. Many believe that the subsequence of the aforementioned actions would bring benefits to both the pupils and the society. This essay agrees with the statement above, and provides reliable reasons and appropriate examples. The first significant advantage of requiring high school learners to attend services for the community is that it allows students to try out new areas of work that they might have never previously done, and make it easier for them to decide what job or further education they want to apply in the future. For example, a senior student who has a chance to teach some of the younger grade learners for the first time might realise their talent in the teaching area, and make their choice to become a teacher confidently. Moreover, it is obvious that when senior pupils help out with the service, benefits are given back to many people in the community who need it. For instance, charity for homeless people that were supported by the students would enable them to gain enough money from their help and use it to provide them the houses they need. In addition, the charity works pupils do would also be looking fabulous in the resume of them when they are applying for a job in the future. In conclusion, it is clear that obligating the society services to the senior school enables students to experience various areas of work that allows easier choice-making decisions on their future career, chances to support people in community by service they provided, and a terrific profile for work appliance.
Consider shortening this phrase to just “Whether”. It is correct though if you mean ‘regardless of whether’.
Whether or not
the schools should include the community-service activities into the unavoidable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
year programs without payment is the issue of interest.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
believe that the subsequence of the aforementioned actions would bring benefits to both the pupils and the society. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with the statement above, and provides reliable reasons and appropriate examples.

The
first
significant advantage of requiring high school learners to attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
for the community is that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to try out new areas of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
that they might have never previously done, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it easier for them to decide what job or
further
education they want to apply in the future.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
who has a chance to teach
If the text is a generality, ‘of the’ is not necessary.
some of the
younger grade learners for the
first
time might
Possible spelling mistake. ‘realise’ is British English.
realise
their talent in the teaching area, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their choice to become a teacher
confidently
.

Moreover
, it is obvious that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
pupils
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
out with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
, benefits are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
back to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the community who need it.
For instance
, charity for homeless
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
were supported
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would enable them to gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it to provide them the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
they need.
In addition
, the charity works pupils do would
also
be looking fabulous in the resume of them when they are applying for a job in the future.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that obligating the society
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
school enables
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to experience various areas of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
easier choice-making decisions on their future career, chances to support
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in community by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
they provided, and a terrific profile for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
appliance.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children)

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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