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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children.)

There are often issues with understanding the vocabulary in this question, namely the ‘unpaid’, ‘community service’, ‘compulsory’ and ‘charity’ parts. ‘Unpaid’ is often paraphrased with ‘voluntary’ but this is not exactly the same and even contradicts the compulsory’ part of the question. ‘Voluntary’ means that one does the work without being paid but also chooses to do it because he wants to. ‘Compulsory’, on the other hand, means that the teenagers would not have any choice about doing the work; community service would be part of their high school duties as much as attending Maths classes is. Regarding ‘community service’, this is about doing work to benefit one’s community or whichever community a person is a part of. Doing work for ‘a charity’ relates to helping people regardless of where or who they are i. e. these people could be in another city or country. The ‘charity’ work given in the question is an example of community service and thus should not be the focus of the answer. If you would like more clarification about these key words of the question, please see the vocabulary list. Apart from this, I’ve noticed many students having difficulties with explaining their ideas in the body paragraphs. Often, they will be vague in their explanations or give benefits of doing community work which are not clearly unique to this type of work. For example, one might argue that the teenagers could learn how to work as part of a team from doing community service. This skill is not unique to this kind of work, however, and is something they would likely learn from school (while doing project-type activities for instance or playing sports). For this problem, I recommend using examples of real community service work and being specific. For instance, “if a teenager helps the elderly people in a retirement home, they will learn nursing skills. This is something they would likely not learn at school. ”
There are
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often
issues with understanding the vocabulary in this
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question
,
namely
the

‘unpaid’,
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‘community
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service’
, ‘compulsory’ and ‘charity’
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parts
. ‘Unpaid’ is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
paraphrased with ‘voluntary’
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but
this is not exactly the same and even contradicts the compulsory’
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part
of the
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question
. ‘Voluntary’ means that one does the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
without
being paid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
chooses to do it
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because
he wants to. ‘Compulsory’,
on the other hand
, means that the
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teenagers
would not have any choice about
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doing
the
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work
;
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community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
would be
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part
of their high school duties as much as attending Maths classes is. Regarding
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‘community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service’
, this is about
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doing
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work
to benefit one’s
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community
or

whichever
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community
a person is a
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part
of.
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Doing
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work
for ‘a charity’ relates to helping

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people
regardless of where or who they are i. e. these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could be in another city or

country. The ‘charity’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
question
is an example of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
and

thus
should not be the focus of the answer. If you would like more clarification about these

key words of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
question
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the vocabulary list.

Apart from this, I’ve noticed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students having difficulties with explaining their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
in

the body paragraphs.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Often
, they will be vague in their explanations or give benefits of

doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
which are not
clearly
unique to this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
For example
, one

might argue that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
could
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learn
how to
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work
as
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part
of a team from doing

community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
is not unique to this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
however
, and is something

they would likely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
from school (while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
project-type activities
for instance
or

playing sports). For this problem, I recommend using examples of real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
service

work and being specific.
For instance
, “if a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in a retirement

home, they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
nursing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. This is something they would likely not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
at school. ”
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IELTS essay Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children. )

Essay
  American English
16 paragraphs
322 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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