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Some people believe that university education should only be offered to those who can pay for their own courses, and the government should not be expected to fund higher education. To what extent do you agree?

Nowadays, most of the universities offer a variety range of educational courses all around the world. It is often argue that other people believe that tertiary education should only be offered to individuals who are able to afford their courses financially, while I believe that government should support the students who cannot pay for higher education. I will attempt to outline some key reasons for this. First, in recent years universities fees are very high. High percentage of society, including the most gifted students cannot afford to pay. It is necessary that government should offer scholarship for them. If the government does not support them, they may drop out the school before ending their education and they will not have any chance to progress and upgrade their abilities. In the other words, they may go to work without fulfilling their requirements and knowledges. As a result, society would lack talent employments in order to develop country. Second, It is also possible that the immigration of talented students to another countries that provide requirements for them and it will be human capital flight. What I mean is, government make people ready to be efficient for another countries and our countries will lose human resource. It should be noted that the government has paid a lot of money for reaching students to the stage before university. Finally, if a government create a fund to support them, they can help government to develop the country after reaching at the end of their education even more than people who paid themselves. By this way, government funds will be back. As an another positive effect, it will improve Human Development Index by offering equal chance for all the students. In conclusion, I agree with the idea that said the government should support the students that have financial problem for higher educational level in universities.
Nowadays, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
offer a variety range of educational courses all around the world. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argue that other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be offered
to individuals who are able to afford their courses
financially
, while I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who cannot pay for higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. I will attempt to outline
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
key reasons for this.
First
, in recent years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
fees are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high. High percentage of society, including the most gifted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
cannot afford to pay. It is necessary that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should offer scholarship for them. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
them, they may drop out the school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
ending their
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
education and
they will not have any chance to progress and upgrade their abilities. In the other words, they may go to work without fulfilling their requirements and
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowledges
.
As a result
, society would lack talent employments in order to develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Second, It is
also
possible that the immigration of talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that provide requirements for
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
it will be human capital flight. What I mean is,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
ready to be efficient for another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will lose human resource. It should
be noted
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has paid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money for reaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to the stage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
Finally
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
create a fund to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
them, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to develop the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
after reaching at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
even more than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who paid themselves. By this way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
funds will be back. As an another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
Human Development Index by offering equal chance for all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that said the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
that have financial problem for higher educational level in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that university education should only be offered to those who can pay for their own courses, and the government should not be expected to fund higher education.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
309 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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