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Write about the following topic: Many newspapers and magazines feature stories about the private lives of famous people. We know what they eat, where they buy their clothes and who they love. We also often see pictures of them in private situations. Is it appropriate for a magazine or newspaper to give this kind of private information about people

Newspapers and magazines are mainly interested in celebrities life. They think this type of feature stories gives more popularity. In my opinion it is not good for the magazines and newspapers to give this kind of private information about people. Nowadays normal people are more interested in others life. Media know the trends of common people. That is the main reason for focusing same kind of news. In our world people are eagerly waiting to hear the news or gossips about others. They are interfering more in others privacy. This make celebrities unhappy. Because of media's they refuse to go outside with their families. Media are exploiting their freedom to enjoy their life. In our country many celebrities are the victims of media. High influence of media in their daily life cause drastic changes. For example certain gossips about singer Amrita and actor Bala highly effected their family life. Their married life changed and ends in divorce. This incident now highly affects their children and family. When media enters to the privacy of others it will badly affect their life. I anticipate that celebrities also have their own privacy and life. They also like to spend their time with their loved ones and family. Interfering of media may spoil their future also. I strongly believe that influence of media is highly gives a bad impact to celebrities life. Media want to change their attitude and they should leave celebrities for them to enjoy their personal life.
Newspapers and magazines are
mainly
interested in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this type of feature stories gives more popularity. In my opinion it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the magazines and newspapers to give this kind of private information about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Nowadays normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more interested in others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Media
know the trends of common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
That is
the main reason for focusing same kind of news. In our world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
eagerly
waiting to hear the news or gossips about others. They are interfering more in others privacy. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
unhappy.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
of media's they refuse to go outside with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Media
are exploiting their freedom to enjoy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In our country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are the victims of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. High influence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
in their daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
cause drastic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.
For example
certain gossips about singer Amrita and actor
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bala
highly
effected their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Their married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
and ends in divorce. This incident
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
highly
affects their children and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
enters to the privacy of others it will
badly
affect their
Did you mean “lives”?
life
. I anticipate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
also
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
privacy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. They
also
like to spend their time with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. Interfering of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
may spoil their future
also
. I
strongly
believe that influence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is
highly
gives a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Media
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
attitude and
they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
for them to enjoy their personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay : Many newspapers and magazines feature stories about the private lives of famous people. We know what they eat, where they buy their clothes and who they love. We also often see pictures of them in private situations. Is it appropriate for a magazine or newspaper to give this kind of private information about people

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
246 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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