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Many parents think it is good to teach children about the value of money. Why do you think it is important to teach the value of money? In what ways can you help children learn the value of money.

If is good to teach children about the importance of money, because it will help them in future Nd there are many ways to help children to learn the value of money such as giving pocket money and so on. Money is important part of life, as people need money for buying food, clothes and shelter, consequently many people think to educate children regarding the value of money, for example in America 90% of people talk to their children about the importance of money at every early age. There are number of reasons to educate children about money. Firstly to make them financially stable, for instance they know how to use money on different stuff in future. Secondly they will do saving and handle their budget properly, similarly they will become independent. Furthermore, there are numerous ways to help children to learn value of money. Parent's should give pocket money to their children, by doing this they will know when and where to use money, moreover they will know how to distinguish between needs and wants, rather than wasting money children use it more accurately. In addition, buy playing business games or take them on shopping. Hence, these are some ways to teach children about value of money. In conclusion, by giving pocket allowance, money games are some ways to teach children and it is important to make them financially stable.
If is
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good
to teach
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children
about the importance of
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money
,
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because
it will
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help
them in future Nd there are
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many
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ways
to
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help
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children
to learn the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
of
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money
such as giving pocket
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money
and
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so
on.
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Money
is
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important
part of life, as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
need
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money
for buying food, clothes and shelter,
consequently
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
to educate
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children
regarding the
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value
of
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money
,
for example
in America 90% of
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people
talk to their
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children
about the importance of
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money
at every early age. There are
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number of
reasons to educate
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children
about
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money
.
Firstly
to
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make
them
financially
stable,
for instance
they know how to
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use
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money
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
stuff
The phrase ‘in future’ is British English. Did you mean: “in the future”?
in future
.
Secondly
they will do saving and handle their budget
properly
,
similarly
they will become independent.
Furthermore
, there are numerous
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ways
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
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children
to learn
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value
of
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money
. Parent's should give pocket
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money
to their
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children
, by doing this they will know when and where to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
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money
,
moreover
they will know how to distinguish between needs and wants,
rather
than wasting
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money
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children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it more
accurately
.
In addition
,
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buy
playing business games or take them on shopping.
Hence
, these are
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some
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ways
to teach
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children
about
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value
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
In conclusion
, by giving pocket allowance,
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money
games are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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ways
to teach
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
children and
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
financially
stable.
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IELTS essay Many parents think it is good to teach children about the value of money. Why do you think it is important to teach the value of money? In what ways can you help children learn the value of money.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
231 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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