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Some people believe that traditional medicine are better than modern. Do you agree or disagree?.

Some people believe that traditional medicine are better than modern. . BMABV
The Drug which is more effective than others. Some people believes that traditional medicine are more effective than modern medicine has become a matter of discussion where as some people in favors or there are in disagreement. I agree with the later view. To initiate with, there are many factors which show modern medicine are better than traditional one because modern medicine should be easily available to everyone. To explain, modern medicine has manufactured by big pharma companies and these companies or other pharma/medicine dealers have multiple store in all over the world so which is very easy for the people to get it here as traditional can not be easily available. For example, if a person having a headache, he can go outside and buy Allopathic medicine from near by store and also can order online. Moreover, modern medicine play a significant role in the treatment of disease like Cancer, TV, Asthma etc. Which is not possible to get cure by traditional. To elaborate, through modern medicine now, we can save people life from the crucial illness where as earlier is not possible to get it. Today we having modern technology through them we can develop more effective vaccines in a short term of period. To illustrate, earlier we do not have remedies to cure people now we can via advance technology manufactured Durg. Furthermore, recovery rate of modern medicines is higher than the traditional one. To explicate, both the medicine helps to recover people from the illness but in traditionally takes time where as modern can immediately boost the person immunity and help him to get recover faster. For instance, In present many people suffering from COVID, with the help of modern technology scientist manufactured vaccine which helps patients to recover in only 10-15 days. To Conclude, In my perspective, there are still many reasons including mention above. I agree with the later view.
The Drug which is more effective than others.
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Some
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people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
believes
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
are more effective than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
has become a matter of discussion
Did you mean "whereas"?
where as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in favors or there are in disagreement. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the later view.

To initiate with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
are better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
should be
easily
available to everyone. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
has manufactured by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
pharma
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
or other pharma/medicine dealers have multiple store in all over the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it here as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
can not be
easily
available.
For example
, if a person having a headache, he can go outside and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
Allopathic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
from
Did you mean "nearby"?
near by
store and
also
can order online.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
play a significant role in the treatment of disease like Cancer, TV, Asthma etc.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
is not possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
cure by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
. To elaborate, through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, we can save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
life from the crucial illness
Did you mean "whereas"?
where as
earlier is not possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
Did you mean "we're having", "we are having", or "we were having"?
we having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
technology through them we can develop more effective vaccines in a short term of period.

To illustrate, earlier we do not have remedies to cure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
we can via advance technology manufactured
Possible spelling mistake found.
Durg
.

Furthermore
, recovery rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
medicines is higher than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
one. To explicate, both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to recover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from the illness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in
traditionally
takes
It is better to use 'time' with the time-relative pronoun 'when': "time when". (Alternatively, use 'in/on which')
time where
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
can immediately boost the person immunity and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
him to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
recover faster.

For instance
, In present
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffering from
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
COVID
, with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
technology scientist manufactured vaccine which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
patients to recover in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10-15 days.

To Conclude
, In my perspective, there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons including mention above. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the later view.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that traditional medicine are better than modern. .

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
316 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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