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Some people believe that time spent on television, video and computer games can be beneficial to children. Others believe this has negative effects on a child. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.3

Some people believe that time spent on television, video and computer games can be beneficial to children. Others believe this has negative effects on a child. v. 3
Nowadays, television, video and computer games play a key role in child's life. Few people believe that children who are spending time on television and video or computer games will be more benefited, others think this has harmful effects on them. Here, we are going to discuss how they can gain knowledge and can become sharp thinkers by using them as well as drawbacks such as addiction, obesity, impact on studies and exposure to harmful content. First, let us see how children can gain more general knowledge by watching television and how they can become smarter by playing video or computer games. If children play video games, then there are plenty of chances that they can think in various ways which obviously leads them to become sharp thinkers. By watching Television, they will get to know what is happening around them all over the world. Next, we are going to see side effects of spending time on television and video games such as addiction, obesity, violence, effect on studies and exposure to bad content. Many surveys explained how children become addicted to games, therefore they just like to play for hours without even moving which absolutely leads to addiction and this lack of physical activity leads to obesity. For example, if we see children who play war games which involves gun shooting become more violent than children who doesn't play. All of these impact on their studies. There are multiple chances that the children can get exposure to negative content by watching television if parents do not take enough precautions. According my opinion, if we put a time limit for them to spend time on television and video or computer games, then they will get more benefit.
Nowadays,
television
,
video
and computer
games
play
a key role in child's life. Few
people
believe that
children
who are spending
time
on
television
and
video
or computer
games
will be more benefited, others
think
this has harmful effects on them. Here, we are going to discuss how they can gain knowledge and can
become
sharp thinkers by using them
as well
as drawbacks such as addiction, obesity, impact on studies and exposure to harmful content.

First
,
let
us
see
how
children
can gain more general knowledge by watching
television
and how they can
become
smarter by playing
video
or computer
games
. If
children
play
video
games
, then there are
plenty
of chances that they can
think
in various ways which
obviously
leads them to
become
sharp thinkers. By watching
Television
, they will
get
to know what is happening around them all over the world.

Next
, we are going to
see
side effects of spending
time
on
television
and
video
games
such as addiction, obesity, violence, effect on studies and exposure to
bad
content.
Many
surveys
explained
how
children
become
addicted to
games
,
therefore
they
just
like to
play
for hours without even moving which
absolutely
leads to addiction and this lack of physical activity leads to obesity.
For example
, if we
see
children
who
play
war
games
which involves gun shooting
become
more violent than
children
who
doesn
't
play
. All of these impact on their studies. There are multiple chances that the
children
can
get
exposure to
negative
content by watching
television
if parents do not take
enough
precautions.

According my
opinion, if we put a
time
limit for them to spend
time
on
television
and
video
or computer
games
, then they will
get
more benefit.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that time spent on television, video and computer games can be beneficial to children. Others believe this has negative effects on a child. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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