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Some people believe that they should keep all the money they earn and not pay tax. What advantages and disadvantages are there in paying tax?

Some people believe that they should keep all the money they earn and not pay tax. What advantages and disadvantages are there in paying tax? ABawL
Taxes are essential for the growth of the country. A few individuals believe that government should not deduct taxes from their earnings. I completely disagree with the notion and I strongly believe that citizens are entitled to pay taxes for the betterment of the country and to enhance their standard of living. Firstly. it is a fact that every country runs on the taxes collected from the citizens. These taxes are needed for construction of various facilities such as public transportation, medical facilities, universities and so on. In countries like Canada and Australia, citizens enjoy free education and medical facilities because people contribute to the government through their taxes. Secondly in some countries paying taxes is a way to save for retirement. The people in these countries enjoy retirement benefits provided by the government. The government provides pension to the people whose age is over 60 and cannot find a job and even if they find one, the pay is minimum. Therefore in such cases the pension that the government pays will be helpful. Countries like Canada and Australia provide retirement benefits to their citizens as they contributed to their economy during their working days. In conclusion we can say that taxes are resources to build the country and to ensure that the citizens enjoy improved standard of living. People requires facilities like hospitals, universities and transportation system and for that taxes is a vital source of income for the government.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Taxes
are essential for the growth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. A few individuals believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should not deduct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
from their earnings. I completely disagree with the notion and I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
are entitled
to pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
for the betterment of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and to enhance their standard of living.

Firstly
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is a fact that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
runs on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
collected from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
are needed
for construction of various facilities such as public transportation, medical facilities, universities and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like Canada and Australia,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
enjoy free education and medical facilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
contribute to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
through their taxes.

Secondly
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
is a way to save for retirement. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
enjoy retirement benefits provided by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
provides pension to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
whose age is over 60 and cannot find a job and even if they find one, the pay is minimum.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
in such cases the pension that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
pays will be helpful.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Countries
like Canada and Australia provide retirement benefits to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
as they contributed to their economy during their working days. In
The comma is probably missing here: "conclusion, we".
conclusion we
can say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
are resources to build the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and to ensure that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
enjoy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
standard of living.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
requires
facilities like hospitals, universities and transportation system and for that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
is a vital source of income for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that they should keep all the money they earn and not pay tax. What advantages and disadvantages are there in paying tax?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
241 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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