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Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn, and should not have to pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn, and should not have to pay tax to the state. E1PL
It is argued by some that they should not be imposed tax by the government so all income can be held by them. I completely disagree with that idea and think that the most important part of government revenue is generated by taxes which citizens pay so they can provide facilities such as infrastructure, roads, electricity, and also pension funds for elderly people. The government needs earnings in order to carry out projects which are useful for their nation. There are lots of amenities supplied by the state that citizens and even private companies cannot do themselves on their own, and these requirements need to be funded to make them real. For instance, the distribution of clean water, electricity, and even street lights demand their own cost, without any aid paid by its citizen, the government is able to fail to fund them and hence those projects just stay on paper. Furthermore, taking care of our senior citizens, after long years of serving their country, is one of the duties that the state should deal with. The government must pay their pension fund after one point they will not be able to work resulting in provide their well-being and security. According to last research conducted by World Health Organization showed that people who aged more than sixty-five are satisfied and describing themselves as a happy person in countries which government prepared numerous facilities and retirement funds. For this reason, budget is highly crucial for state and tax payments are key factors for gain it. To conclude, although some people hold a belief which it is their right not to share what they have earned, it is not ethical behavior that refusing to help our country by paying taxes. Besides, people pay the cost of utilities promoted by their own state, thus it is a fair price that demanding by the state. I believe that taxes should be levied on citizens and they should not avoid paying them in the future.
It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that they should not
be imposed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
all income can
be held
by them. I completely disagree with that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
revenue
is generated
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
pay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can provide facilities such as infrastructure, roads, electricity, and
also
pension funds for elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
needs earnings in order to carry out projects which are useful for their nation. There are lots of amenities supplied by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
and even private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
cannot do themselves on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, and these requirements need to
be funded
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them real.
For instance
, the distribution of clean water, electricity, and even street lights demand their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
cost, without any aid paid by its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizen
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is able to fail to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fund
them and
hence
those projects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
stay on paper.

Furthermore
, taking care of our senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
, after long years of serving their country, is one of the duties that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
should deal with. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
pay their pension
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fund
after one point they will not be able to work resulting in provide their well-being and security. According to last research conducted by World Health Organization
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who aged more than sixty-five
are satisfied
and describing themselves as a happy person in countries which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
prepared numerous facilities and retirement funds.
For this reason
, budget is
highly
crucial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
payments are key factors for gain it.

To conclude
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold a belief which it is their right not to share what they have earned, it is not ethical behavior that refusing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
our country by paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
.
Besides
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
pay the cost of utilities promoted by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
,
thus
it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
price that demanding by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
should
be levied
on
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
citizens and
they should not avoid paying them in the future.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn, and should not have to pay tax to the state.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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