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Some people think sport is important to society. Other, however, feel it is nothing more than leisure activity. Discuss both views and give opinion.

Some people think sport is important to society. Other, however, feel it is nothing more than leisure activity. 3Pym
Sports and games are getting popular day by day. A group of people believe that sports and games are necessary for society. However others think that they should take it as free time activities. There are people on both sides of the argument who have very strong feelings. There are certainly some reasons why sport is important to society. One of the reasons is that local residents can become healthier than ever. By playing several sports frequently at fields such as football, cricket the local residence will have good healthy conditions. The government therefore can save the money which allocates for the hospitals and clinics. Another reason is that young people are able to cultivate a good habit. For example, all the famous sports person such as shakib al Hassan, M. H. Dony maintains a good lifestyle for their good performance which is inspire lots of young people to lead a healthy life. With the rapid advancement of technology, young people often play computer games and video games. For example there are several groups of people who have similar interest on online games. Generally they play with their friends who live far away from each other. It helps them to maintain their friendship through the gaming. On the other hand, there are opposing voices saying that sport is nothing more than leisure activity. It is true that sport can count as a leisure activity because not everyone has the abilities and potentials to become professional sport players. Therefore, Local citizens generally considered it as simply activities for relaxing their mind and body during holidays. Apart from this, many families see sport as their leisure time to enhance the relationship with their children. In conclusion, although some people feel leisure activity are the same as sport, I still think that sport plays an important role to society because it has brought advantages to local people.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are getting popular day by day. A group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are necessary for society.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they should take it as free time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. There are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on both sides of the argument who have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
strong feelings.

There are
certainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to society. One of the reasons is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
residents can become healthier than ever. By playing several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
frequently
at fields such as football, cricket the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
residence will have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
healthy conditions. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
therefore
can save the money which allocates for the hospitals and clinics. Another reason is that young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to cultivate a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
habit.
For example
, all the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
person such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
shakib
Possible spelling mistake found.
al
Hassan, M. H.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dony
maintains a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
lifestyle for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
performance which is inspire lots of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to lead a healthy life. With the rapid advancement of technology, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
play computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
For example
there are several groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have similar interest on online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
Generally
they play with their friends who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
far away from each other. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to maintain their friendship through the gaming.

On the other hand
, there are opposing voices saying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is nothing more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
. It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
can count as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not everyone has the abilities and potentials to become professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
players.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Local
citizens
generally
considered it as
simply
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
for relaxing their mind and body during holidays. Apart from this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
families
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
time to enhance the relationship with their children.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
are the same as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
, I
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role to society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has brought advantages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay Some people think sport is important to society. Other, however, feel it is nothing more than leisure activity.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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