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some people believe that they must accept the bad situations like their unsatisfactory jobs or shortage of money. While, other believe that they must try to improve their life. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

some people believe that they must accept the bad situations like their unsatisfactory jobs or shortage of money. While, other believe that they must try to improve their life. bE9Yl
It has been widely debated by people, whether it is better to accept an uncomfortable situation, for example lack of money or an unsatisfied job or otherwise, look for an improvement in this situations. In this essay, I will discuss both the views despite giving my opinion on why it is important to come out of this situation and live depression free life. On one hand, some people support that it is better to accept the critical situation because they believe, they have no other option in life. Many people tend to be happy with whatever they have with them because they think it is better to find happiness in what is left rather than looking for new opportunities. For instance, we have seen people no matter what the condition is or how bad situation it is, they learn to find joy of their life. After all, money cannot buy happiness. On the other hand, others think that it is always good to seek for new opportunities in our life and make it much better by hustle. Rather than living in bad situation they believe why not to make it much better? Although it is not guaranteed but still they want to come out of that situation. Such as, we have seen vendors or disabled person who are struggling financially and physically, still they choose to work for themselves and try to make a better living. Nevertheless, people like this always have a better optimistic for their lives. In my opinion, working for a better life is far more superior than struggling for the rest of the life, let it be either financially or by compromising things. Hard work always pays off. Few believe that by doing so it will not bring any positive changes in their life so most of them do not even try. Which, later on results into depression and ruins their healthy lifestyle. Apart from this, people with strong determination who do not want to get satisfied with this life, they leave no stone unturned. Namely, Warren buffet said this “If you cannot make money while sleeping, you will have to work till you die”. In conclusion, I would like to say, one should always analyze his or her problem and should take the steps wisely. With the help of strong will power and determination anyone’s life could be turned into better one.
It has been
widely
debated by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, whether it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to accept an uncomfortable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
,
for example
lack of money or an unsatisfied job or
otherwise
, look for an improvement in
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
. In this essay, I will discuss both the views despite giving my opinion on why it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
depression free life.

On one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
support that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to accept the critical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they believe, they have no other option in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to be happy with whatever they have with them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to find happiness in what is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
rather
than looking for new opportunities.
For instance
, we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
no matter what the condition is or how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
it is, they learn to find joy of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
After all
, money cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
happiness.

On the other hand
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to seek for new opportunities in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
it much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
by hustle.
Rather
than living in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
they believe why not to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
it much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
? Although it is not guaranteed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
. Such as, we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
vendors or disabled person who are struggling
financially
and
physically
,
still
they choose to work for themselves and try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
living.
Nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like this always have a better

optimistic for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

In my opinion, working for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is far
The adjective 'more' is normally used with to and does not need 'more' (so called implicit comparative). Probably you need to write: "superior to".
more superior than
struggling for the rest of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
it be either
financially
or by compromising things.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Hard
work always pays off. Few believe that by doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it will not bring any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
most of them do not even try. Which, later on results into depression and ruins their healthy lifestyle. Apart from this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with strong determination who do not want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
satisfied with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
no stone unturned.
Namely
, Warren buffet said this

“If you cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
money while sleeping, you will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work till you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
”.

In conclusion
, I would like to say, one should always analyze
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
problem and should take the steps
wisely
. With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of strong will power and determination anyone’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
could
be turned
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
one.
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IELTS essay some people believe that they must accept the bad situations like their unsatisfactory jobs or shortage of money. While, other believe that they must try to improve their life.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
397 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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