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How to protect children from sexual abuse worldwide.

How to protect children from sexual abuse worldwide. PRkLg
What is the method for securing people who are under eighteen from intercourse violence throughout the world? This essay will discuss one of the main problems associated with sexual abuse and suggest a viable solution. Generally, the sexual force has been increasing although the constructions which include both law and police are struggling for this situation; in other words, they are laboring the way they can, but this type of crime has not been diminishing because the method is wrong. It is because the whole legislature system of deciding and punishing is weak for handle with this crime; alternatively, parents have not been attending to this obstacle the way they can not prevent from occurring the crime. As a consequence of not defending children from sexual abuse, there are many children who were forced by someone, so they are encountering psychological problems, and they have been attempting to commit suicide. For example, if some children were abused, they have atrociously memory, which follows their whole life, and their reputation will have been insulted. A solution to this worrying problem is that The Ministry of Law needs to upgrade the law of this type of crime before the sexual abuse crime increase; on the other hand, the Education sector must stimulate the program which educates the public for family planning, relationship of intercourse, education of sexual health. Moreover, parents should increase their care for their children so that they can assist to cease the rape. For example, when the main three sectors include the legislature, education and parents upsurge their control on this problem, it will be reduced as we want. By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that sexual abuse because of not updating the system of struggling the crime and steps of increasing the control and educate and prevent from three main sectors need to be taken to tackle this problem.
What is the method for securing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are under eighteen from intercourse violence throughout the world?

This essay will discuss one of the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
associated with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sexual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abuse
and suggest a viable solution.

Generally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sexual
force has been increasing although the constructions which include both law and police are struggling for this situation;
in other words
, they are laboring the way they can,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
has not been diminishing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the method is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the whole legislature system of deciding and punishing is weak for handle with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
;
alternatively
, parents have not been attending to this obstacle the way they can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
from occurring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. As a consequence of not defending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sexual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abuse
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
were forced
by someone,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are encountering psychological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, and they have been attempting to commit suicide.
For example
, if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
were abused
, they have
atrociously
memory, which follows their whole life, and their reputation will have
been insulted
.

A solution to this worrying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is that The Ministry of Law needs to upgrade the law of this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sexual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abuse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
increase;
on the other hand
, the Education sector
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
stimulate the program which educates the public for family planning, relationship of intercourse, education of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sexual
health.
Moreover
, parents should increase their care for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can assist to cease the rape.
For example
, when the main three sectors include the legislature, education and parents upsurge their control on this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, it will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
as we want.

By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sexual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abuse
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of not updating the system of struggling the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and steps of increasing the control and educate and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
from three main sectors need to
be taken
to tackle this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
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IELTS essay How to protect children from sexual abuse worldwide.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
315 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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