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Some people believe that the Internet brings people of different ages and cultures together. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

Some people believe that the Internet brings people of different ages and cultures together. G3m52
It is widely believed that as electronic devices became more advanced, people began to communicate more over the internet, bringing them closer together. On the contrary, there is a certain group of people who believe that the Internet has pushed people far apart. Before coming to a logical conclusion, we'll look at both sides and I will explain further in this essay. To begin with, we must acknowledge how technological advancements have altered the whole world and brought individuals from all over the planet together with a single touch. In the past, sending a message to another location would take a long time, or you could have to go to their location to give the message, which was inefficient and time-consuming. Now, we just engage with each other, and the message is sent to their side in a second. Consequently, People, particularly adolescents, begin enjoy conversing through numerous online sites as technology progresses at a breakneck rate, because it helps them to keep in touch with their distant relatives and friends. For example, Facebook, a widely used social networking site, has millions of members who connect with one another on a regular basis, sharing their thoughts on a variety of issues and forming communities with others who have shared interests. On the other hand, while the Internet connects people digitally, it isolates them socially in the meantime, because the more time they spend online, the less time they spend engaging in real life. People who are hooked to the internet and can't get away from their devices will not develop any social skills or gain any knowledge that’s essential for their lives. This is a major disadvantage since it will put them in perplexing situations that they won't know how to handle. Many people assume that technological communication is less comprehensive and trustworthy than communication done by face-to-face conversation or over the phone. Social connections are built on the facades of other internet users, whose anonymous activities might be deceptive and unpredictable. To sum up, despite all of this, I continue to notice flaws in the evolution of interface technologies since there is an enormous amount of time each person spends on the Internet and separates from each other. But we can’t forget to mention the contributions that technology has made to human contact, and I believe that the mentioned flaw is easily remedied.
It is
widely
believed that as electronic devices became more advanced,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
began to communicate more over the internet, bringing them closer together.
On the contrary
, there is a certain group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
believe that the Internet has pushed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
far apart.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
coming to a logical conclusion, we'll look at both sides and I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
further
in this essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
acknowledge how technological advancements have altered the whole world and brought individuals from all over the planet together with a single touch. In the past, sending a message to another location would take a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, or you could
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go to their location to give the message, which was inefficient and time-consuming.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
engage with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
, and the message is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to their side in a second.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
,
particularly
adolescents,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
enjoy conversing through numerous online sites as technology progresses at a breakneck rate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with their distant relatives and friends.
For example
, Facebook, a
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
social networking site, has millions of members
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
connect with one another on a regular basis, sharing their thoughts on a variety of issues and forming communities with others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have shared interests.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, while the Internet connects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
digitally
, it isolates them
socially
in the meantime,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they spend online, the less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they spend engaging in real life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are hooked
to the internet and can't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
away from their devices will not develop any social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
or gain any knowledge that’s essential for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. This is a major disadvantage since it will put them in perplexing situations that they won't know how to handle.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
assume that technological communication is less comprehensive and trustworthy than communication done by face-to-face conversation or over the phone. Social connections
are built
on the facades of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
internet users, whose anonymous activities might be deceptive and unpredictable.

To sum up, despite all of this, I continue to notice flaws in the evolution of interface technologies since there is an enormous amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
each person spends on the Internet and separates from each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
we can’t forget to mention the contributions that technology has made to human contact, and I believe that the mentioned flaw is
easily
remedied.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that the Internet brings people of different ages and cultures together.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
394 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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