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In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers , the internet and smartphonesrs

In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the internet and smartphonesrs 7pDJ3
Since ages, citizens all over the world had left home for their work but 21st century has witnessed the development of information technology that leads to use of computer, the internet and smartphones for work from home. This had helped us from loss of commuting cost and drawback from isolation. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I will scrutinize both postulates and disadvantages of this development. It is an irrefutable fact that this development helped to save commuting time as before it, people wasted average 1 hour of day in travelling to work. Now this time could be utilize for learning another thing. On the other hand, expenses on accommodation had also reduced as now some workers from village don't needed home in bigger cities. Moreover, employees got more time to spend with their families ultimately it benefited them to stay happy. To illustrate, research had shown that people are more elated with work from home as in recent survey they answered that it helped them to stay energetic. Nevertheless, many individuals suffered a lot since they spent almost half a day on computer. Consequently, their eyes got effected. Before it, people were used to learn from each other but the new working experience not provided chance to learn from each other. Moreover, many countries of the world suffered mental health. To illustrate, after corona pandemic when workers came back to office companies have provided health aids such as seminar or counselor to them. To put in a nutshell, there are lots of benefits of work from home although, it is true that it have side effects such as mental health of employees.
Since ages, citizens all over the world had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
home for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
21st century has witnessed the development of information technology that leads to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computer, the internet and smartphones for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home. This had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
us from loss of commuting cost and drawback from isolation. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I will scrutinize both postulates and disadvantages of this development. It is an irrefutable fact that this development
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to save commuting time as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
wasted average 1 hour of day in travelling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
this time could be
Consider using the past participle "utilized"?
utilize
for learning another thing.
On the other hand
, expenses on accommodation had
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
workers from village don't needed home in bigger cities.
Moreover
, employees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
more time to spend with their families
ultimately
it benefited them to stay happy. To illustrate, research had shown that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are more elated with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home as in recent survey they answered that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
them to stay energetic.
Nevertheless
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals suffered a lot since they spent almost half a day on computer.
Consequently
, their eyes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
effected.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
it,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to learn from each other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the new working experience not provided chance to learn from each other.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries of the world suffered mental health. To illustrate, after corona pandemic when workers came back to office
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have provided health aids such as seminar or counselor to them. To put in a nutshell, there are lots of benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home although, it is true that it have side effects such as mental health of employees.
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IELTS essay In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the internet and smartphonesrs

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
271 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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