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Some people believe that teneegers do not have healthy habits. Write an opinion essay in which you give your own opinion about this issue and propose what could be done to make young people eat more healthily ?

Some people believe that teneegers do not have healthy habits. Write an opinion essay in which you give your own opinion about this issue and propose what could be done to make young people eat more healthily? kLXB8
For the time being, consuming unhealthy food rate is increasing among youngsters. Owing to eating various of food leading to gain weight, majority part of people are suffered from unhealthy lifestyle. I am off to give some couples of evidences below. In my point of view, teenagers are getting addicted to consume unhealthy food, including fast-food, fizzy drinks, by means of leading them to unhealthy lifestyle, nonetheless, there are some points of views given by youngsters that they would rather cut off time in the hand of consuming non-recommended food. Indeed, they are simultaneously shaped with unhealthy eating habits. As i said above, the purpose of them not only cutting of the time, but it is well-organised for pockets of consumers. Recently, i have come across one experimental analysis carried out by scientists that main part of youngsters have been focused on unhealthy food by means of far-fetched advertisements on social media. It means that it may give somehow difficulties to the government so as to keep people out of unhealthy lifestyle. To sum up, i highly give a recommendation that it should be focused on as a serious problem and narrow down consuming unhealthy food, the government ought to put barriers for advertisements spreading by gigantic companies.
For the time being, consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
rate is increasing among youngsters. Owing to eating various of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
leading to gain weight, majority part of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are suffered
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
lifestyle. I am off to give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
couples of evidences below.

In my point of view,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are getting addicted to consume
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, including
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food, fizzy drinks, by means of leading them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
lifestyle, nonetheless, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
points of views
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by youngsters that they would
rather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
off time in the hand of consuming non-recommended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Indeed
, they are
simultaneously
shaped with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
eating habits. As
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
said above, the purpose of them not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
cutting of the time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
Possible spelling mistake. 'well-organised' is British English.
well-organised
for pockets of consumers. Recently,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across one experimental analysis carried out by scientists that main part of youngsters have
been focused
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
by means of far-fetched advertisements on social media. It means that it may give somehow difficulties to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
lifestyle.

To sum up,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
highly
give a recommendation that it should
be focused
on as a serious problem and narrow down consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
ought to put barriers for advertisements spreading by gigantic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that teneegers do not have healthy habits. Write an opinion essay in which you give your own opinion about this issue and propose what could be done to make young people eat more healthily?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
208 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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