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Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. n6EDo
How a teenager should spend their free time is a topic of discussion among everyone. There are arguments on both sides whether a children should be allowed to do some work or enjoyed every time. I will take the mid-way from the above statement and would discuss both views in coming paragraph. Probably the reason why children should do work in their leisure time is that, it is beneficial for their holistic development. Children learn to be independent in early life and hence responsible for every action they do. For instance, a child volunteering in a McDonald outlet, takes order from customer, enter details in the system, bring what was asked. This whole process requires a sense of responsibility. However, yes, there are drawbacks as well. Children already have a lot in their Kitty like going to school, completing homework hence, along with all these, they do require to have some time to do recreational activity. It becomes tedious to do work and school in parallel. To perform well in schoolit is of utmost importance to have a healthy sleep in night. To conclude, I firmly believe that parents should balance their children's life in such a way that they spend some time doing community work so that it does not impact the school time.
How a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
should spend their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is a topic of discussion among everyone. There are arguments on both sides whether a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or enjoyed every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. I will take the mid-way from the above statement and would discuss both views in coming paragraph.

Probably
the reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is that, it is beneficial for their holistic development.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
learn to be independent in early life and
hence
responsible for every action they do.
For instance
, a child volunteering in a McDonald outlet, takes order from customer, enter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
in the system, bring what
was asked
. This whole process requires a sense of responsibility.

However
, yes, there are drawbacks
as well
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
already have a lot in their Kitty like going to school, completing homework
hence
, along with all these, they do require to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to do recreational activity. It becomes tedious to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and school in parallel. To perform well in
Possible spelling mistake found.
schoolit
is of utmost importance to have a healthy sleep in night.

To conclude
, I
firmly
believe that parents should balance their children's life in such a way that they spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
doing community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it does not impact the school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
215 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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