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Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time.This can benefit teenagers and the community as well.To what extent do you agree or disagree

Many individuals opine that students should do voluntary work for the community in their spare time which can be beneficial for both of them. I agree with this notion. There are many reasons for supporting my points in the following paragraphs. To begin with, In this fast pace of life every teenager so buys in their school work given by teachers and parents. Thus, if children do some extra out of their schedule like social work then they could feel fresh and relax. Moreover, they use their time in useful work and could learn new things. For example, different types of languages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
individuals opine that students should do voluntary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for the community in their spare time which can be beneficial for both of them. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons for supporting my points in the following paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, In this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pace of life every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buys
in their school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by teachers and parents.
Thus
, if children do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "extras"?
extra
out of their schedule like social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
then they could feel fresh and relax.
Moreover
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their time in useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and could learn new things.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
languages
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IELTS essay Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
101 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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