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In spite of the advance made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Although there is a development in agriculture, many persons in the world remain securing insufficient foods. In my vantage point, unproper distribution of agricultural knowledge and products lead to a high number of hungry people around the world, so that agricultural training and accurate distribution may overcome these obstacles. Initially, despite there is a growth in agricultural technology, many Farmers in the world can not access it that causes a lower quantity and quality of their products. For example, in worldwide today, there is a rice cultivation manner that enable Farmers taking on more harvest times in a year, so that they will get hold of more quantity, but not all of them understand it. Moreover, not all countries in the world are able to produce agricultural products, such as Singapore which has no farm area, and this is the reason why international trade in these products occurs, but many states can not afford this ultimate need because of their poor economics. For instance, some African country today still can not buy farming products due to their insufficient budget. Turning to the solution, a massive training related to farming technology should be carried out by the government to jack up farmers' knowledge and result better products. Additionally, international organization, like United Nations, should bring off a huge corporation among countries to distribute agricultural product appropriately by generating regulations that enable poor states take out them cheaper. In conclusion, I exactly would like to restate that a significant number of hungry persons in the world might be resulted from the condition that farming knowledge and products are not distributed properly, but we still have an opportunity to overcome it by carrying through massive agricultural training to Farmers and building international corporation to reduce agricultural products' price.
Although there is a development in agriculture,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
persons in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
remain securing insufficient foods. In my vantage point,
Possible spelling mistake found.
unproper
distribution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agricultural
knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
lead to a high number of hungry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agricultural
training and accurate distribution may overcome these obstacles.

Initially
, despite there is a growth in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agricultural
technology,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Farmers in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
can not access it that causes a lower quantity and quality of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
For example
, in worldwide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, there is a rice cultivation manner that enable Farmers taking on more harvest times in a year,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hold of more quantity,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not all of them understand it.

Moreover
, not all countries in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
are able to produce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agricultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, such as Singapore which has no farm area, and this is the reason why international trade in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
occurs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
states can not afford this ultimate need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their poor economics.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
African country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
still
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
farming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
due to their insufficient budget.

Turning to the solution, a massive training related to farming technology should
be carried
out by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to jack up farmers' knowledge and result better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Additionally
, international organization, like United Nations, should bring off a huge corporation among countries to distribute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agricultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
appropriately
by generating regulations that enable poor states take out them cheaper.

In conclusion
, I exactly would like to restate that a significant number of hungry persons in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
might
be resulted
from the condition that farming knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are not distributed
properly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we
still
have an opportunity to overcome it by carrying through massive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agricultural
training to Farmers and building international corporation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agricultural
products' price.
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IELTS essay In spite of the advance made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
295 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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