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Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Community work is a work performed by people for the betterment and benefit of a society. However, it is a contentious issue whether community work should be done for free or children should be paid for that. I partially believe that community work should have some monetary benefit attached to it. Young ones working free for the community have numerous benefits for the community. For example, working in an aged care without any monetary benefit children can learn the sense of true happiness, which is helping someone without thinking about getting something in return. Eliminating monetary benefit can attract more people towards community service and people might do it with their heart rather see it as a work. Furthermore, as children see this work without the monetary value then they would be keen towards protecting the environment, helping others, care about the community and respect for elders. Moreover, younger generation would take some financial burden off from the charities, non-profit organizations and governments who have limited financial budgets for the community work. Moreover, it is believed if we force young people to work without any financial benefit then this can have numerous disadvantages. For example, without any financial benefit children would see community work as a burden and they might not do it whole heartedly which can impact their on-work performance. Furthermore, in today’s capitalist society people need money to survive, so we should not force young ones to work for free. Moreover, children should be taught that good work can also bring monetary benefits for them, so they would feel motivated in their work, hence can lead to good performance. In conclusion, I partially believe that free community work should not be imposed on the young ones as we already have an option of volunteering, so anyone willing to work for free can volunteer.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
performed by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for the betterment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
of a society.
However
, it is a contentious issue whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
should
be done
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be paid
for that. I
partially
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
should have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monetary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
attached to it.

Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
have numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
.
For example
, working in an aged care without any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monetary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can learn the sense of true happiness, which is helping someone without thinking about getting something in return. Eliminating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monetary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
can attract more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
service and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might do it with their heart
rather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Furthermore
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
without the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monetary
value then they would be keen towards protecting the environment, helping others, care about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
and respect for elders.
Moreover
, younger generation would take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
burden off from the charities, non-profit organizations and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
who have limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
budgets for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
work.

Two successive sentences begin with the same adverb. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
Moreover
, it
is believed
if we force young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
without any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
then this can have numerous disadvantages.
For example
, without any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as a
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
burden and
they might not do it whole
heartedly
which can impact their on-work performance.
Furthermore
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s capitalist society
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need money to survive,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we should not force young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be taught
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
can
also
bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monetary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
for them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they would feel motivated in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
hence
can lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
performance.

In conclusion
, I
partially
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
should not
be imposed
on the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
as we already have an option of volunteering,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
anyone willing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
can volunteer.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?