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Many people has strong concept that social work should be done by our youngsters as freelancers in their leisure for benefit of both, new generation and society too.

Many people has strong concept that social work should be done by our youngsters as freelancers in their leisure for benefit of both, new generation and society too. My opining is on opposite direction and I will illustrate with rationales and impacts. General speaking, today’s youth will make a tomorrow’s future and everyone is agree with this point. There are two main reasons that why children should not do honorary work. First, working without money will not retain their interest in long term not they will perform their assigned work with good quality. For example, if they are assigning on some municipal work, there is more chances to do this assigned work with enthusiasm on initial stage but after few days they will lose their passion as they are not earning anything. So we need to thing about consistency for long term basis by which we can retain their willingness. Second, community work should be done by the residents of that place as it is their responsibility and this concept will teach to our youth to acceptance of responsibility at any level. To illustrate, when children will observe that their elders are performing all public work by themselves to maintain the clean or up-to-date so they will learn the same lesson and they will contribute their part even they become adults and they will teach the same things to their generation too. Moreover, many offspring are belongs to either poor or white-collar family. If will assign societal work to them with some paid amount so it will turn into many advantages such as will provide the financial support to need pupils, second will preserve their interest for the society betterment, and day by day community structure can improve. In conclusion, society work should be carryon by the occupant in their free time. Community is the responsibility of both, current adult and new generation. Our young population should be involve in the societal work and we need to pay some intensive as appreciation to boost up their motivation for long term.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If ‘people’ is plural here, don’t use the third-person singular verb.
has
strong concept that social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
should
be done
by our youngsters as freelancers in their leisure for benefit of both, new generation and society too. My opining is on opposite direction and I will illustrate with rationales and impacts.

General speaking,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s youth will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a tomorrow’s future and everyone is
Consider using either the past participle “agreed” or the present participle “agreeing” here.
agree
with this point. There are two main reasons that why children should not do honorary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
First
, working without money will not retain their interest in long term not they will perform their assigned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality.
For example
, if they are assigning on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
municipal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
Did you mean “there are more chances”?
there is more chances
to do this assigned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with enthusiasm on initial stage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after few days they will lose their passion as they are not earning anything.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
we need to
Did you mean the verb “think”?
thing
about consistency for long term basis by which we can retain their willingness.

Second, community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
should
be done
by the residents of that place as it is their responsibility and this concept will teach to our youth to acceptance of responsibility at any level. To illustrate, when children will observe that their elders are performing all public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
by themselves to maintain the clean or up-to-date
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will learn the same
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lesson and
they will contribute their part even they become
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
adults and
they will teach the same things to their generation too.

Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
offspring are belongs to either poor or white-collar family. If
Consider removing ‘will’. (Usually, ‘will’ does not occur in a conditional clause, unless in the sense ‘want to’ or ‘be willing to’.)
will assign
societal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to them with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
paid amount
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it will turn into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages such as will provide the financial support to need pupils, second will preserve their interest for the society betterment, and day by day community structure can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
.

In conclusion
, society
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
should be
Possible spelling mistake found.
carryon
by the occupant in their free time. Community is the responsibility of both,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
adult and new generation. Our young population should be
Consider using the past participle “involved”.
involve
in the societal
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
work and
we need to pay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
intensive as appreciation to boost up their motivation for long term.
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IELTS essay Many people has strong concept that social work should be done by our youngsters as freelancers in their leisure for benefit of both, new generation and society too.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
340 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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