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Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Evolving adolescents on social work in their leisure time has become controversial topic in today’s generation. It is considered by most of the people that teenagers play pivotal role in voluntary community service by contributing their free time and it will be beneficial for both society and them. This essay will argue why unpaid work is completely unacceptable for the advantage of children. To begin with, It is responsibilities of adolescents to put hand on social work as that benefit them or not. In order to finish community work on time one have to give their 100% because it should develop community and help maintaining harmony on people. Teenagers are the backbone of that community as well as country. There would rise a question that if teenagers are avoiding doing social work then who move on to do it. Therefore, teenagers should give their leisure time on progressing deed of community because it will motivate other children to do so. However, adolescent period is time to create innovative idea and developing them rather than forcing them on unpaid services in their leisure time. The main reason is that voluntary services will demotivate them to deal with task. To illustrate, recent study has showed that in adolescents time period they should build their personality because during this drive they tend to communicate with a variety of people, leads to polished verbal skills. Moreover, going and experiencing multiple culture and tradition make their horizon, so broad that add one more feather in their cap. Besides that, young mind serves the country with full enthusiasm that gives them feeling of fulfilment and self-satisfaction. Hence, this worthiness for themselves brim them with self-confidence and patriotic feeling. In conclusion, This essay argued that adolescent are supposed to use their leisure time on building their self-esteem then community work. In my opinion, teenagers are backbone of country so they should utilize their free time on finding new idea that make their community develop and spend that time on extra curriculum activities.
Evolving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adolescents
on social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
has become controversial topic in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s generation. It
is considered
by most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
play pivotal role in voluntary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
service by contributing their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and it will be beneficial for both society and them. This essay will argue why unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is completely unacceptable for the advantage of children.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, It is responsibilities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adolescents
to put hand on social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as that benefit them or not. In order to finish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
give their 100%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it should develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
The verb 'help' is used with an infinitive: "to maintain" or "maintain".
maintaining
harmony on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teenagers
are the backbone of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
as well
as country. There would rise a question that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
are avoiding doing social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
then who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
on to do it.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
should give their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on progressing deed of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will motivate other children to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.

However
,
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adolescent
period is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to create innovative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and developing them
rather
than forcing them on unpaid services in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. The main reason is that voluntary services will demotivate them to deal with task. To illustrate, recent study has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adolescents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
period they should build their personality
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
during this drive they tend to communicate with a variety of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, leads to polished verbal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Moreover
, going and experiencing multiple culture and tradition
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their horizon,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
broad that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
one more feather in their cap.
Besides
that, young mind serves the country with full enthusiasm that gives them feeling of
Possible spelling mistake. 'fulfilment' is British English.
fulfilment
and self-satisfaction.
Hence
, this worthiness for themselves brim them with self-confidence and patriotic feeling.

In conclusion
, This essay argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adolescent
are supposed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on building their self-esteem then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
are backbone of country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they should utilize their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on finding new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
develop and spend that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on extra curriculum activities.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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