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Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There are those who claim that it is proper to add some obligated activities to the curriculum of secondary students. Few people would contest the profound effects of these programs and intrinsic values of education on students’ personalities; however, I hold the view that obligating children to do what they do not want to participate in would cause detrimental consequences. On the one hand, it is widely accepted that by educating children to contribute in tackling obstacles which society faces, they learn how to act as a member of a team. That is to say, through doing compulsory services, they are provided with a golden opportunity to reap the benefits of being mature and getting experiences without any costs. Also, they can meet people from all walks of life through these activities, which leads to increasing their level of making communication with other people. As a result, they become more extroverted. Recent research indicates that children who do different types of tasks in their lives became more successful adults in the future. On the other hand, it is probably true to say that although doing community services can help students to widen their horizons, forcing them into doing these actions may have serious side effects such as the sense of losing freedom. In other words, community services can have positive impacts only if students do them voluntarily. Nobody would dispute the fact that when a person has to take part in a program, it decreases the value of his work. also, when teenagers are facing with obligations, they react badly, because when they are in adolescence the only thing that is a matter for them is their freedom. As a consequence, they would suffer from psychological problems in which anxiety is just the tip of the iceberg. To sum up, I think having different sorts of programs, which help students to play a positive role in society, is crucial, but as long as these activities are voluntary. Because forcing students to do unwanted programs may cause detrimental problems

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add
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some
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students
. Few This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
 would contest the profound effects of these You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcurriculumbillplanbusinessschedule
programs
 and intrinsic values of education on You use this word too often, consider replacing it withundergraduatescholarpupiljuniorgraduate
students’
 personalities; however
, I hold the view that obligating children to do what they do not want to participate in would cause detrimental consequences.

On the one hand, it is widely
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accepted
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. As a result
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different
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lives
 became more successful adults in the future.

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help
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students
 to widen their horizons, forcing them into doing these actions may have serious side effects such as the sense of losing freedom. In other words
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positive
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students
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. Nobody would dispute the fact that when a person This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:oughts to
has to
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 are facing with obligations, they react badly
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only
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To sum up, I This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :reckonassumebelieveconsider
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different
 sorts of You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcurriculumbillplanbusinessschedule
programs
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students
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but
 as long as these activities are voluntary. “Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
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