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Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There are those who claim that it is proper to add some obligated activities to the curriculum of secondary students. Few people would contest the profound effects of these programs and intrinsic values of education on students’ personalities; however, I hold the view that obligating children to do what they do not want to participate in would cause detrimental consequences. On the one hand, it is widely accepted that by educating children to contribute in tackling obstacles which society faces, they learn how to act as a member of a team. That is to say, through doing compulsory services, they are provided with a golden opportunity to reap the benefits of being mature and getting experiences without any costs. Also, they can meet people from all walks of life through these activities, which leads to increasing their level of making communication with other people. As a result, they become more extroverted. Recent research indicates that children who do different types of tasks in their lives became more successful adults in the future. On the other hand, it is probably true to say that although doing community services can help students to widen their horizons, forcing them into doing these actions may have serious side effects such as the sense of losing freedom. In other words, community services can have positive impacts only if students do them voluntarily. Nobody would dispute the fact that when a person has to take part in a program, it decreases the value of his work. also, when teenagers are facing with obligations, they react badly, because when they are in adolescence the only thing that is a matter for them is their freedom. As a consequence, they would suffer from psychological problems in which anxiety is just the tip of the iceberg. To sum up, I think having different sorts of programs, which help students to play a positive role in society, is crucial, but as long as these activities are voluntary. Because forcing students to do unwanted programs may cause detrimental problems
There are those who claim that it is proper to
add
some
obligated activities to the curriculum of secondary
students
. Few
people
would contest the profound effects of these
programs
and intrinsic values of education on
students’
personalities;
however
, I hold the view that obligating children to do what they do not want to participate in would cause detrimental consequences.

On the one hand, it is
widely
accepted
that by educating children to contribute in tackling obstacles which society faces, they learn how to act as a member of a team.
That is
to say, through doing compulsory services, they
are provided
with a golden opportunity to reap the benefits of being mature and getting experiences without any costs.
Also
, they can
meet
people
from all walks of life through these activities, which leads to increasing their level of making communication with other
people
.
As a result
, they become more extroverted. Recent research indicates that children who do
different
types of tasks in their
lives
became more successful adults in the future.

On the other hand
, it is
probably
true to say that although doing community services can
help
students
to widen their horizons, forcing them into doing these actions may have serious side effects such as the sense of losing freedom.
In other words
, community services can have
positive
impacts
only
if
students
do them
voluntarily
. Nobody would dispute the fact that when a person
has to
take part
in a
program
, it decreases the value of his work.
also
, when
teenagers
are facing with obligations, they react
badly
,
because
when they are in adolescence the
only
thing
that is
a matter for them is their freedom. As a consequence, they would suffer from psychological problems in which anxiety is
just
the tip of the iceberg.

To sum up, I
think
having
different
sorts of
programs
, which
help
students
to play a
positive
role in society, is crucial,
but
as long as these activities are voluntary.
Because
forcing
students
to do unwanted
programs
may cause detrimental
problems
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IELTS essay Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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