Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. D93m
Some people claim that while teenagers are having free time, they should be required to perform unpaid community work. As a result, it can be advantages to their community and teenagers. In my perspective, I firmly agree with this argument as the community and teenagers earn various benefits such as more responsible and more workers. The first and foremost reason is more responsible to the students. If they are requiring to do work instead of chilling, it makes them more mature and more precise time. For example, school of New Zealand has one program that makes many merits to its country, which is encouraging boarding teenagers to work in their free time. Thus, students in those schools are having ability to work when they are studying. Consequently, this program provides those students to be more understand what they should undertake and benefits to them. Then, the schools will have less negative actions from students like a country of New Zealand. Moreover, those schools will be more well-known to many people, and more parents would like to let their child study in those schools. The outcome will be growing more income in those institutions. Another advantage is more employees. This has several profits to the community such as less works to perform in each person, and the community also does not have to pay for teenagers. Subsequently, their works will finish faster and more productivity. Additionally, the community will posses to pay less than before for all workers since they are having less works to perform. Having carefully analyses both sides of argument, I completely agree with the foregoing statement because it has more advantages than demerits to the community. This means that I am supporting the statement of teenagers should be working for community without pay while they are having nothing to do.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
free time, they should
be required
to perform unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
As a result
, it can be advantages to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
. In my perspective, I
firmly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this argument as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
earn various benefits such as more responsible and more workers.

The
first
and foremost reason is more responsible to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. If they are requiring
Did you mean "doing"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'require' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
instead
of chilling, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them more mature and more precise time.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
of New Zealand has one program that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
merits to its country, which is encouraging boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in their free time.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
ability to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
when they are studying.
Consequently
, this program provides those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to be more understand what they should undertake and benefits to them. Then, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
will have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
actions from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
like a country of New Zealand.
Moreover
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
will be more well-known to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, and more parents would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
their child study in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. The outcome will be growing more income in those institutions.

Another advantage is more employees. This has several profits to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
such as
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun works is countable.
less
works to perform in each person, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
also
does not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
.
Subsequently
, their works will finish faster and more productivity.
Additionally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
will posses to pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
for all workers since they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun works is countable.
less
works to perform.

Having
carefully
analyses both sides of argument, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the foregoing statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has more advantages than demerits to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
. This means that I am supporting the statement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
should be working for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
without pay while they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
nothing to do.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?