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Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Children are the future of tomorrow. Whatever they learn today would reflect in their future activities. I agree with the fact that teenagers should take up unpaid community work in their free time as not only do they give back to the society but also keep themselves engaged. Earning money should not be the only motive rather focus should be on overall personality development can which can be achieved when you add some value to the society by providing services free of cost. Teenagers can take up any activity which can be advantageous to the society like cleaning roads, planting trees, teaching in slums or even providing food to the stray animals. These days we see that teenagers are hardly involved in any productive work and waste substantial amount of their time on social media platforms. If they devote this time in the community work, they will learn and set a good example for others as well as the community can be benefitted. We should not expect any money for the community work rather the value can be calculated by the success and satisfaction received by doing the work. To conclude, every organization does some sort of corporate social responsibility hence doing community work should be one’s responsibility and everyone should be of some value to the society. No work is big or small, everyone should play their part and you see in no time the country will develop as a whole.
Children are the future of tomorrow. Whatever they learn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
would reflect in their future activities. I
Consider using “agree that”.
agree with the fact that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
should take up unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
as not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do they give back to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
themselves engaged. Earning money should not be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
motive
rather
focus should be on
overall
personality development
Please check whether a verb is missing here.
can which
can
be achieved
when you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
value to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
by providing services free of cost.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Teenagers
can take up any activity which can be advantageous to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
like cleaning roads, planting trees, teaching in slums or even providing food to the stray animals. These days we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are hardly involved in any productive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and waste substantial amount of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on social media platforms. If they devote this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, they will learn and set a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example for others
as well
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
can be
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefitted
. We should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
any money for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
rather
the value can
be calculated
by the success and satisfaction received by doing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
To conclude
, every organization does
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sort of corporate social responsibility
hence
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
should be one’s responsibility and everyone should be of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
value to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. No
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
, everyone should play their
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
part and
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
the country will develop as a whole.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
242 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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