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Nowadays many countries have very cosmopolitan cities with people from all over the world. How can the government ensure that all these people can live together harmoniously? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In today's era, there are many areas in which people people from different countries live in a same city and people from different background must be having different mindset and cultures. So, government should take some necessary steps that they can live together by maintaining peace among them. I will provide some example from my knowledge and experience for this. Firstly, government should encourage every culture and religion on their behalf that no one should feel left out among others. For instance, if government is celebrating Diwali festival then they should take care that they should celebrate Christmas as well. On the other hand, they should also encourage people to learn about different cultures and traditions. Afterwards, they should ask for help with people such as movie directors and actors to direct some movies consisting of this image particularly because actors are like youth icons and if they show a particular image in which they live together in a cosmopolitan city with people from different backgrounds. It will surely help people to stay like a same family. Although, government officials should organise public gathering in different areas of city where particular areas are invited for a lunch or dinner. People on this particular stage will themselves take an initiative and will try to come in contact with different people. In contrast, any action can have its opposite reaction. So, government should also take the security forces on standby. For example, anything goes beyond from the imagination then they can manage and maintain the decorum. In conclusion, people living in different countries are having different opinions and cultures. So, there is a possibility that they get indulge in some type of argument. Government should take steps which bring people together and closer and it can be handled.
In
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today
's era, there are
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many
areas in which
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people
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people
from
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different
countries
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live
in a same city and
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people
from
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different
background
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be having
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different
mindset and
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cultures
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
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government
should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
necessary steps that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
together by maintaining peace among them. I will provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
example from my knowledge and experience for this.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should encourage every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and religion on their behalf that no one should feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
out among others.
For instance
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is celebrating Diwali festival then they should take care that they should celebrate Christmas
as well
.
On the other hand
, they should
also
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to learn about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and traditions.

Afterwards, they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
such as movie directors and actors to direct
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
movies consisting of this image
particularly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
actors are like youth icons and if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a particular image in which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
together in a cosmopolitan city with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
backgrounds. It will
surely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to stay like a same family.

Although,
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government
officials should
Possible spelling mistake. ‘organise’ is British English.
organise
public gathering in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
areas of city where particular areas
are invited
for a lunch or dinner.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
on this particular stage will themselves take an initiative and will try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in contact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In contrast
, any action can have its opposite reaction.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
also
take the security forces on standby.
For example
, anything goes beyond from the imagination then they can manage and maintain the decorum.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
countries are having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
opinions and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, there is a possibility that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
indulge in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
type of argument.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
should take steps which bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together and
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
closer and
it can
be handled
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays many countries have very cosmopolitan cities with people from all over the world. How can the government ensure that all these people can live together harmoniously?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
296 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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