Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In today’s cosmopolitan world it is unusual to find a major city or country where there are no immigrants.

In today’s cosmopolitan world it is unusual to find a major city or country where there are no immigrants. People travel more now than they ever did in the past and populations have had to adapt to this transitional lifestyle much more quickly than in the past. Ultimately society, as a group of individuals, directs the way that new arrivals in a country are treated. But the government can do a number of things to support this. Firstly, all governments should insist that schools teach history and culture from more than one country, not just the home nation. By learning how others have lived we gain insight into alternative cultures and ways of life which makes us more accepting when we meet people from those countries. Of course we don’t have time to learn about the history of every country in the world but understanding at least one other culture opens our minds and makes us more tolerant. In addition, when immigrants choose to settle in a country, the host government should offer free language and culture lessons. It is impossible for new arrivals to integrate if they do not understand the language and habits of their new home. I believe it is important for immigrants to learn the culture of the place they have chosen to settle. By acquiring the language and knowledge about the culture, they will be able integrate more easily and comfortably without necessarily losing their own identity. Finally the governments of countries should make sure that they have some stringent laws to protect people from aggression or prejudice so that, should an immigrant face terrible attitudes, they have some protection. By ensuring people feel safe the host country shows that it is civilized and promotes integration. In summary, understanding others is the key to harmonious living but laws should also be in place to protect people from those who can’t behave responsibly.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s cosmopolitan world it is unusual to find a major city or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
where there are no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrants
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
travel more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
than they ever did in the past and populations have had to adapt to this transitional lifestyle much more
quickly
than in the past.
Ultimately
society, as a group of individuals, directs the way that new arrivals in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
are treated
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can do a number of things to support this.

Firstly
, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should insist that schools teach history and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
from more than one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
the home nation. By learning how others have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
we gain insight into alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and ways of life which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us more accepting when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Of
The comma is probably missing here: “course, we”.
course we
don’t have time to learn about the history of every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
understanding at least one other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
opens our minds and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us more tolerant.

In addition
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrants
choose to settle in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should offer free language and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
lessons. It is impossible for new arrivals to integrate if they do not understand the language and habits of their new home. I believe it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrants
to learn the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of the place they have chosen to settle. By acquiring the language and knowledge about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, they will
The infinitive “integrate” after “be” requires “to”. Did you mean “be able to integrate”?
be able integrate
more
easily
and
comfortably
without
necessarily
losing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
identity.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
stringent laws to protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from aggression or prejudice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that, should an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrant
face terrible attitudes, they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
protection. By ensuring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel safe the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that it
is civilized
and promotes integration.

In summary, understanding others is the key to harmonious
Use a comma before ‘but’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
living
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
laws should
also
be in place to protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from those who can’t behave
responsibly
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay In today’s cosmopolitan world it is unusual to find a major city or country where there are no immigrants.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
317 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts