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Celebrities, such as actors, musicians and athletes, sometimes express their political views in public. Some people appreciate knowing the political views of celebrities. Others think it is not appropriate or useful to know the political views of celebrities. Which opinion do you agree with?

Today's celebrities' opinions play an important role in society. Some popular person talks about their political ideas to the public. Some people appreciate knowing the political views of celebrities, but others don't like and believe express the political views in public by famous people it's not correct. I subscribe to the latter idea, because of two main reasons which I will explore below. First, celebrities are not professional in the political major. In this day and age of the modern and sophisticated world, if you want to gain correct and useful information you should follow the expert in each field. celebrities didn't study in the sociology course, therefore their knowledge is not sufficient to express them to other people, so their speeches are not reliable. Second, because famous people are more influence to people perhaps special political group taking bribes them and ask them to promote their group to the people. therefore, their ideas are not on truth information. For example, one of the candidates for our city council, to win the election, gave money to a famous person, who was known among the people, to promote him, so many of the supporters voted for him and caused him to win in the election. But because he did not have enough ability to manage the city all of the city's problems remained. To conclude, discussing political issues by non-experts does not have the right effect on the general public. Not only do not celebrities have corrected knowledge in the field of politics, but they also explain their ideas based on their benefits.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
's celebrities' opinions play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
popular person talks about their political
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
to the public.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
appreciate knowing the political views of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others don't like and believe express the political views in public by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
it's not correct. I subscribe to the latter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of two main reasons which I will explore below.

First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are not professional in the political major. In this day and age of the modern and sophisticated world, if you want to gain correct and useful information you should follow the expert in each field.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
celebrities
didn't study in the sociology course,
therefore
their knowledge is not sufficient to express them to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
their speeches are not reliable.

Second,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more influence to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
perhaps special political group taking bribes them and ask them to promote their group to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
therefore
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
are not on truth information.
For example
, one of the candidates for our city council, to win the election, gave money to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
person, who
was known
among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, to promote him,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the supporters voted for him and caused him to win in the election.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he did not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
ability to manage the city
Consider using “all the”.
all of the
city's problems remained.

To conclude
, discussing political issues by non-experts does not have the right effect on the
Consider using only “public” to avoid wordiness.
general public
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
have corrected knowledge in the field of politics,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
based on their benefits.
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IELTS essay Celebrities, such as actors, musicians and athletes, sometimes express their political views in public. Some people appreciate knowing the political views of celebrities. Others think it is not appropriate or useful to know the political views of celebrities. Which opinion do you agree with?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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