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Nowadays, multinational countries are becoming more common, than they used to be a few decades ago, There are humans from all over the world, who live in cities of this cosmopolitan countries.

Nowadays, multinational countries are becoming more common, than they used to be a few decades ago, There are humans from all over the world, who live in cities of this cosmopolitan countries. Staying in the way of this process, governments should ensure that all these people live with each other in peace. This essay will first consider the main reasons of people migrating around the world and then discuss how governments can be convinced that people live in cities harmoniously. It is clear that the main causes of migrating are the history of regions and availability of travelling around the world. Some countries have conquered regions of different nations in the past. It led to spreading the languages and customs of these countries and, eventually, it has impacted on current days. For instance, there is a diversity of different nations in Manchester and the priority of the, are nations that were conquered by England in the past. Multinational cities are becoming a big issue in safety and governments around the world must be ensured that people live in peace. It is said that governments should integrate the languages of the majority nations into official languages of countries to prevent disputes and they also should organize surveys to understand what could be done to protect different nations. For example, there are many official languages in Switzerland that is being taught at school and, moreover, the government always analyses the feedbacks from citizens about this diversity of languages. It leads to understanding by citizens that they are all equal. Overall, countries are becoming more cosmopolitan these days and it is vital for governments to intervene in the safety of people and ensure that humans live in harmony.
Nowadays, multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are becoming more common, than they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be a few decades ago, There are humans from all over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, who
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live
in cities of this cosmopolitan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Staying in the way of this process,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should ensure that all these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with each other in peace. This essay will
first
consider the main reasons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
migrating around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and then discuss how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
can
be convinced
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in cities
harmoniously
.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the main causes of migrating are the history of regions and availability of travelling around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have conquered regions of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
in the past. It led to spreading the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
and customs of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and,
eventually
, it has impacted on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
days.
For instance
, there is a diversity of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
in Manchester and the priority of
Did you forget something after ‘the’?
the,
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
that
were conquered
by England in the past.

Multinational cities are becoming a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
issue in safety and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be ensured
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in peace. It
is said
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should integrate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
of the majority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
into official
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
disputes and
they
also
should organize surveys to understand what could
be done
to protect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
For example
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
official
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
in Switzerland
that is
being taught
at school and,
moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
always analyses the feedbacks from citizens about this diversity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
. It leads to understanding by citizens that they are all equal.

Overall
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are becoming more cosmopolitan these
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
days and
it is vital for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
to intervene in the safety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and ensure that humans
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in harmony.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, multinational countries are becoming more common, than they used to be a few decades ago, There are humans from all over the world, who live in cities of this cosmopolitan countries.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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