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Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. 2jow
Some section of society opine that youth needs to participate in social work with free of cost in their leisure time, as a result, it is advantageous to their well beings as well as the society. I completely agree with the statement and believe that youngster needs to engage in social activities. To embark on, there are myriad of benefits of doing community works for young people in their free time. Firstly, it enables adult to know about the social situation and become mature enough to cope with obstacles they face in their life. Furthermore, it will help in their education as some college and university accessed student on the basis of social activities that they are involved. In addition, they are more aware about health and serve the needy people in their areas. For instance, every Saturday in my village youth organize cleanliness program, so that the society remain clean and happy. On the other hand, youth are the backbone of society as well nation development. Some youth study doctor so that they could server the people of their society. Consequently, community will have healthy people if there is accessible health care. For example, in one village many adults are civil engineer, and they are actively involved in development of infrastructure such as road, hospital, bridge etc. In conclusion, teenagers should bestow free time to actively participate in community activities, and server the people, so that it will be more beneficial to them as well as for the local area where they live.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
section of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
needs to participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
work with free of cost in their leisure time,
as a result
, it is advantageous to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
beings as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement and believe that youngster needs to engage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
activities.

To embark on, there are myriad of benefits of doing community works for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their free time.
Firstly
, it enables adult to know about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
situation and become mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to cope with obstacles they face in their life.
Furthermore
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in their education as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
college and university accessed student on the basis of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
activities that they
are involved
.
In addition
, they are more aware about health and serve the needy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their areas.
For instance
, every Saturday in my village
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
organize cleanliness program,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
remain clean and happy.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
are the backbone of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
nation development.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
study doctor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they
The word 'server' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
could server
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Consequently
, community will have healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
if there is accessible health care.
For example
, in one village
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
adults are civil engineer, and they are
actively
involved in development of infrastructure such as road, hospital, bridge etc.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
should bestow free time to
actively
participate in community activities, and server the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it will be more beneficial to them as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as for the local area where they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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