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Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. 2bbjo
Human beings are social creatures, they always live in community of similar beings. Many people people that children in the age goup of 13-19 years old must spend their spare free time to serve the society without being paid which will be advantageous to both the community and the children. I concur with the notion because working for the society offers community engagement, know-how of its administration, attention to persistent issues, and imbibe leadership qualities. Community engagement involves interacting with people. Such interactions results in exhange of though processes, views, ideas, values, and culture, which inturn leads to a better undertanding of people with which they live. People with mutual understanding like Bhagat Singh and Abrahim Lincoln, devoid of monetary benefits, always work for the betterment of economy. As the upcoming generation, when realises their responsibility of working and progressing, struggles with no knowledge of administration, unpaid community work at an early age will helps them understand the nuances of adminitration procedures early. Therefore, at a later stage, when these teenagers will attain familyhood they no more have to worry about socialising with people as they already are a part of this community. Moreover, community work familiarises them with the existing issues of the society. For instance, a law student is always asked to work in a legal aid camp and help the ingident people of the society, so that, he/ she understands that most people lack the monetary resources to avail justice. Someone, who possesses a deep rooted presence in the community, knows how the system works and delivers (selflessly) what the society demands is a leader. Therefore, community involvement familiarises them with the people and their problems, which is necessary to create next generation leaders. In conclusion, unpaid community work leads to involvement with the society, an insight of the their administration, causes to their problem and creation of effective leadership. I am of the view, that teenagers must encouraged to the serve the society for creation of a better world.
Human beings are social creatures, they always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
of similar beings.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that children in the age
Possible spelling mistake found.
goup
of 13-19 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
spend their spare free time to serve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
without
being paid
which will be advantageous to both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
and the children. I concur with the notion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
working for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
offers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
engagement, know-how of its administration, attention to persistent issues, and imbibe leadership qualities.

Community engagement involves interacting with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Such interactions
You should probably use "result".
results
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
exhange
of though processes, views,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, values, and culture, which
Possible spelling mistake found.
inturn
leads to a better
Possible spelling mistake found.
undertanding
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
with mutual understanding like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bhagat
Singh and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Abrahim
Lincoln, devoid of monetary benefits, always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for the betterment of economy. As the upcoming generation, when
Possible spelling mistake. 'realises' is British English.
realises
their responsibility of working and progressing, struggles with no knowledge of administration, unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at an early age will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "help"
helps
them understand the nuances of
Possible spelling mistake found.
adminitration
procedures early.
Therefore
, at a later stage, when these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
will attain
Possible spelling mistake found.
familyhood
they no more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
worry about
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialising' is British English.
socialising
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as they already are a part of this community.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
Possible spelling mistake. 'familiarises' is British English.
familiarises
them with the existing issues of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
For instance
, a law student is always
This is a collocation error. You do not need a preposition after 'asked'. Remove it: "asked".
asked to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a legal aid camp and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
ingident
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that, he/ she understands that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lack the monetary resources to avail justice. Someone, who possesses a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
deep rooted
presence in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
, knows how the system works and delivers (
selflessly
) what the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
demands is a leader.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
involvement
Possible spelling mistake. 'familiarises' is British English.
familiarises
them with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and their problems, which is necessary to create
next
generation leaders.

In conclusion
, unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
leads to involvement with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, an insight of
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "their administration" or "the administration"?
the their administration
, causes to their problem and creation of effective leadership. I am of the view, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
encouraged to the serve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
for creation of a better world.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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