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Some people believe that teenagers are facing more problems in their life than they did in the past and this is because parents are spending more time at work than at home. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that teenagers are facing more problems in their life than they did in the past and this is because parents are spending more time at work than at home. kYPWO
There is an opinion that teenagers in the past faced fewer problems than nowadays because parents spend more time at work than at home. I agree that teenagers now have more issues than in the past because children need attention and communication. In the first place, successful parenting is based on the attention of parents to the child. Because now parents are more often absent from home, children start looking for attention from the outside and plunge in searching into the Internet. As a result, children start looking for outside attention, which in turn leads to a decrease in the parents' authority because children stop hearing their opinion. All these factors eventually lead to multiple problems in the family because the child stops listening to Mom and Dad. In the past, we faced much fewer attention problems. In those times, more attention was paid to children and parents, remained the authority for the child throughout life, which reduced the number of conflicts in the family because the child respected parents' opinion. Next essential aspect of growing numbers of teenagers' problems is a lack of communication. With the advent of the Internet, adolescents have greatly more problems, and they demand much more contact than before. Additionally, access to the information awakens more questions than answers, teenagers ask parents about different things and require much more responses. Because parents are not able to devote enough time to the teenagers and to communicate on topics that disturb them, children might occur emptiness and understatement that would lead to deep psychological problems, such as dementia or autism. In the past, such diseases happened across the world ten times less than now as has been stated in several reports of the World Health Organization, besides children did not feel that they had no answers because parents spent more time with the teenagers and communicated more. In conclusion, it may be noted that devoting more time to work will result in children's lack of attention and communication, resulting in multiple problems.
There is an opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
faced fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
than nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at work than at home. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have more issues than in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attention
and communication.

In the
first
place, successful parenting
is based
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attention
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
absent from home,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
looking for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attention
from the outside and plunge in searching into the Internet.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
looking for outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attention
, which in turn leads to a decrease in the parents' authority
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
hearing their opinion. All these factors
eventually
lead to multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in the family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stops
listening to Mom and Dad. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
, we faced much fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attention
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. In those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attention
was paid
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, remained the authority for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
throughout life, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the number of conflicts in the family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
respected parents' opinion.

Next
essential aspect of growing numbers of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
is a lack of communication. With the advent of the Internet, adolescents have
greatly
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, and they demand much more contact than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
Additionally
, access to the information awakens more questions than answers,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
ask
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things and require much more responses.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are not able to devote
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
and to communicate on topics that disturb them,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might occur emptiness and understatement that would lead to deep psychological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, such as dementia or autism. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
, such diseases happened across the world ten
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
less than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
as has
been stated
in several reports of the World Health Organization,
besides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
did not feel that they had no answers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
spent more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
and communicated more.

In conclusion
, it may
be noted
that devoting more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to work will result in children's lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attention
and communication, resulting in multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that teenagers are facing more problems in their life than they did in the past and this is because parents are spending more time at work than at home.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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