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School nowadays prohibit the use of mobile phones. Is this positive or negative development?

School nowadays prohibit the use of mobile phones. Is this positive or negative development? n62Xo
Nowadays, mobile phones become the most important key in our daily life. Adults and students are frequently using this instrument. And this phenomenon, schools restricted and prohibited students to utilize their mobiles during the education hours. From my perspectives, phone cells may affect negatively the development of the children, it will distract their attention and not let them focus correctly on their subjects. In this essay, I will discuss the positive and negative areas of the use of mobile phones. Firstly, most of the schools prohibited students to spend time on their phones. This tool plays a key role in distracting the attention of children. For example, children in class will keep looking to their phone cell and not focusing to the explanation of the teacher, however, in this way, they will not learn in a proper way, and accordingly, they will be failed in their education and lose a lot of marks. Overall, if cells are utilized incorrectly, students will not be able to develop their skills. However, phones have a positive impact if it was used correctly. Students can access their phone cells for some researches on the internet related to their studies, in addition, they can contact their parents in case of any emergency happened. For example, if the student felt down and broke his knees, he can immediately call his parents to come and to pick him up to the hospital. In short, if the scholar knew his rules and restrictions, so he would be able to keep his own mobile. In conclusion, schools must keep prohibiting students to access their mobiles. The development of the mentality of students is negatively affected by this instrument. The electronic oscillations are badly influencing students in order to reduce their concentration.
Nowadays, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
become the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
key in our daily life. Adults and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
frequently
using this instrument. And this phenomenon, schools restricted and prohibited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to utilize their mobiles during the education hours. From my perspectives,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cells
may affect
negatively
the development of the children, it will distract their attention and not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them focus
correctly
on their subjects. In this essay, I will discuss the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
areas of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of mobile phones.

Firstly
, most of the schools prohibited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to spend time on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
. This tool plays a key role in distracting the attention of children.
For example
, children in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
looking to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
and not focusing to the explanation of the teacher,
however
, in this way, they will not learn
Consider replacing "in a proper way" with the adverb for "proper"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a proper way
, and
accordingly
, they will
be failed
in their education and lose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
marks.
Overall
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cells
are utilized
incorrectly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will not be able to develop their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact if it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
correctly
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
can access their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cells
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
researches on the internet related to their studies,
in addition
, they can contact their parents in case of any emergency happened.
For example
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
felt down and broke his knees, he can immediately call his parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
and to pick him up to the hospital. In short, if the scholar knew his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and restrictions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he would be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
mobile.

In conclusion
, schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
prohibiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to access their mobiles. The development of the mentality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
is
negatively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by this instrument. The electronic oscillations are
badly
influencing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their concentration.
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IELTS essay School nowadays prohibit the use of mobile phones. Is this positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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