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Some people believe that technology has made man more social. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Oppulent countries extend their helping hand to the poor countries through monetary help. Some people believe that they should also help them in other ways. This essay shed some light on this issue and strongly agree with the views that rich nations need to help poor nations in other ways. There are various ways in which rich nations can help poor nations. Firstly, rich countries should focus on the development of poor countries. The world has a lot of inequality and if rich nations can suggest ways of improving the economy, it would be of a great help to the poor countries. Also in future, a lot of improvement can be brought about and that way poor nations can become self-reliant. For instance, a recent survey suggested that collaboration between the US and the third world countries can lead to 14% improvement in the economy of third world countries. In this way, if every country partners with other poor nations, definitely poor countries can develop. The second way to help the poor countries is through understanding the areas where these countries are struggling right now and taking the right steps towards improving the situation. Several countries have certain challenges. For instance, in Africa, the unemployment rate is 75% and in Somalia, the infant mortality rate is 50%. It would be great if there is a central organization like UNO that allocates one issue to each rich country. Since rich countries are innovative and have a strong economy they can certainly help in preventing these issues. After discussing the pertinent points related to the issue, I feel that the only logical conclusion is that rich countries should help the poor countries in tackling their issues and also improving their economy. Hence, I strongly agree with the view that rich countries can help the poor countries in various ways other than money.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Oppulent
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countries
extend their helping hand to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
through monetary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that they should
also
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help
them in
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
. This essay shed
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some
light on this
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issue
and
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the views that
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rich
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nations
need to
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help
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poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
in
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other
ways.

There are various
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ways
in which
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rich
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nations
can
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help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
Firstly
,
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rich
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countries
should focus on the development of
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poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. The world has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
inequality and if
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rich
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nations
can suggest
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ways
of improving the
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economy
, it would be of a great
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help
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
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countries
.
Also
The phrase ‘in future’ is British English. Did you mean: “in the future”?
in future
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
improvement can
be brought
about and that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
can become self-reliant.
For instance
, a recent survey suggested that collaboration between the US and the third world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can lead to 14% improvement in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
of third world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. In this
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way
, if every
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country
partners with
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other
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poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
, definitely
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poor
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countries
can develop. The second
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way
to
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help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is through understanding the areas where these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are struggling right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
and taking the right steps towards improving the situation. Several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have certain challenges.
For instance
, in Africa, the unemployment rate is 75% and in Somalia, the infant mortality rate is 50%. It would be great if there is a central organization like UNO that allocates one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
to each
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rich
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country
. Since
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rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are innovative and have a strong
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economy
they can
certainly
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help
in preventing these issues.

After discussing the pertinent points related to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
, I feel that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
logical conclusion is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in tackling their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
and
also
improving their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
.
Hence
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can
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help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
than money.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that technology has made man more social. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
310 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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