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Some people believe that children should be raised in a strong and disciplined environment. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

İt is argued that a diciplined and strong Technic for children should be used in environmental where they are nourished. İ completely disdagree this notion and to my way of thinking, it is a wrong way to nurture children under a strong ang and diciplined environmental. First of all, i believe that children who were not raised under dicipline and strong can decide their own decision more accurately. Thus, it is possible that socaity in which we live can acquire satisfied people when they grow up. To give an example, while i was studing studing at the university when i asked to one of my friends who gave so positive energy to other people like "how delighted you are all the time ', he respended me like "when i was child, i decided my own decision with my family's helps". So, it is a live reason that demonstrates deciplined and strong environmental are not necessary. Secondly, it is so arduous to have a good relation for the children who nurtured under strong and dicipline with other people. For this reason, children who come from a diciplined and strong family are not fondled by people at the university life. For instance, i had a friend whom we grown up together and i know quite well how his family raised him with dicipline and strong. İ did not see that other friends liked hım so much in the project working. Growing up with dicipline and strong for children can damage their relations with other people. To conclude, i strongly belive that it is not a favourable way to bring up children in a diciplined and strong environmental since not taking exact decision and having negative relations with other people can be possible reasons for this situation.
Possible spelling mistake found.
İt
is argued
that a
Possible spelling mistake found.
diciplined
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strong
Technic for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be u
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sed
in environmental where they
are nourished
.

İ completely
Possible spelling mistake found.
disdagree
this notion and to my way of thinking, it is a wr
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ong w
ay to nurture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
under a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strong
ang and
Possible spelling mistake found.
diciplined
environmental.

Fi
rst o
f all,
Is this the personal pronoun “I”? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
were not raised under
Possible spelling mistake found.
dicipline
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strong
can decide their ow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
n d
ecision more
accurately
.

Th
us,
it is possible that
Possible spelling mistake found.
socaity
in which we li
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ve c
an acquire satisfied pe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ople w
hen they grow up.

To give an example, while
Is this the personal pronoun “I”? It is spelled uppercase.
i
was
Possible typo: you repeated a word
studing studing
at the university when
Is this the personal pronoun “I”? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This looks like a collocation error. You do not need a preposition after “asked”.
asked to
one of my friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
gave so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
p
o
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
sitive e
nergy to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
pe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ople l
ike
Use a smart opening quote here.
"
how delighted you are all the time ', he
Possible spelling mistake found.
respended
me like
Use a smart opening quote here.
"
when
Is this the personal pronoun “I”? It is spelled uppercase.
i
was child,
Is this the personal pronoun “I”? It is spelled uppercase.
i
decided my ow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
n d
ecision with my family's helps
Use a smart closing quote here.
"
.

So
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
,
it is a li
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ve r
eason that demonstrates
Possible spelling mistake found.
deciplined
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strong
environmental are not necessary.

Se
condly,
it is so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a
rduous to have a go
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
od r
elation for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
nurtured under
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strong
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
dicipline
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
pe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ople.
Fo
r this reason,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
co
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
me f
rom a
Possible spelling mistake found.
diciplined
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strong
family are not fondled by pe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ople a
t the university life.

Fo
r instance,
Is this the personal pronoun “I”? It is spelled uppercase.
i
had a friend whom we
You used a past participle without using any required verb (‘be’ or ‘have’).
grown
up together and
Is this the personal pronoun “I”? It is spelled uppercase.
i
know quite well how his family raised him with
Possible spelling mistake found.
dicipline
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strong. İ
did not see
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
th
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
friends liked
Possible spelling mistake found.
hım
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
mu
ch in the project working.

Growing up with
Possible spelling mistake found.
dicipline
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strong
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can damage their relations with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
peo
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ple.
To
conclude, i
strongly
Possible spelling mistake found.
belive
that it is not a
Possible spelling mistake. ‘favourable’ is British English.
favourable
way to bring up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in a
Possible spelling mistake found.
diciplined
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strong
environmental since not taking exact decision and having neg
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ative re
lations with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
peo
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ple ca
n be possible reasons for this situation.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that children should be raised in a strong and disciplined environment.

Essay
  American English
11 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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