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Some people believe that technology has made man more social. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people believe that technology has made man more social. with this opinion? Jno6
In the era of smartphones and the internet, the online social interaction between individuals has increased. Although it seems that technological advances have made us more virtually sociable, I believe that the actual social interaction may have not been fully satisfied. In this essay, some of the relevant discussions would be outlined. On the one hand, technological advances in Information Technology (IT) and computer engineering have increase our daily interactions with other people by using internet-based applications and social network platforms. Our modern and digitalized world, dictate us to use social network applications in our daily lives in order to make more and faster communications with other people. These new online social network applications are capable of transferring huge amounts of messages immediately which could subsequently increase our online interactions. According to recently published articles, the quantity of transferred massages using applications such as Telegram and Signal has been doubled in the past five years. On the other hand, recent developments in social network applications and internet-based platforms have negatively affected our real social interactions. In this regard, using easy-to-use social network applications have made us lazier than before to attempt for an actual face-to-face communication. Besides, the temptation of making online and immediate friendship with a stranger have significantly decrease our passion to plan a real event to socialize. For example, it would be much easier to find a physically attractive boy or girl between hundreds of available options than trying a chance by visiting a nearby dance club and socialize with actual people. To summarize, I personally believe that recent technological advances have significantly increased our interactions with other people. However, this increasing trend is restricted to virtual environment of the internet. In other words, our actual ways of communication and socialize have negatively affected by these advances.
In the era of smartphones and the internet, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interaction
between individuals has increased. Although it seems that technological advances have made us more
virtually
sociable, I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
actual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interaction
may have not been
fully
satisfied. In this essay,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
relevant discussions would
be outlined
.

On the one hand, technological advances in Information Technology (IT) and computer engineering have increase our daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interactions
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
by using internet-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applications
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
network
platforms. Our modern and digitalized world, dictate us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
network
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applications
in our daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more and faster communications with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. These new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
network
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applications
are capable of transferring huge amounts of messages immediately which could
subsequently
increase our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interactions
. According to recently published articles, the quantity of transferred massages using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applications
such as Telegram and Signal has
been doubled
in the past five years.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, recent developments in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
network
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applications
and internet-based platforms have
negatively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
our real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interactions
. In this regard, using easy-to-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
network
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applications
have made us lazier than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
to attempt for an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
actual
face-to-face communication.
Besides
, the temptation of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
and immediate friendship with a stranger have
significantly
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "decreased".
decrease
our passion to plan a real
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
to socialize.
For example
, it would be much easier to find a
physically
attractive boy or girl between hundreds of available options than trying a chance by visiting a nearby dance club and socialize with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
actual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To summarize
, I
personally
believe that recent technological advances have
significantly
increased our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interactions
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
However
, this increasing trend
is restricted
to virtual environment of the internet. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
actual
ways of communication and socialize have
negatively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by these advances.
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I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay Some people believe that technology has made man more social. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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