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Some people believe that technology has made man more social. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Experts throughout both the developing and developed world have debated whether the advent of sophisticated modern technological electronic devices such as mobile phones, laptops, and iPad have helped to enhance and improve the social lives of all walks of life or whether the opposite has become the case. Personally, I strongly advocate the former view. This essay will discuss both sides using examples from the UK government and Oxford University to demonstrate points and prove arguments. On the one hand, there is ample, powerful, almost daily evidence that such sophisticated equipment can be detrimental, especially to the younger generation who are more easily affected by its addictive nature which can result in teenagers feeling more isolated from society. The central reason behind this is twofold, firstly, the invention of online social media sites and apps, such as Twitter and Facebook have reduced crucial face-to-face interactions dramatically. Through the use of these appealing and attractive media, adolescents feel in touch and connected yet lack key social skills and the ability to communicate. Secondly, dependence on such devices is built up frighteningly easily which may have a hazardous effect on mental health and encourage a sedentary lifestyle. For example, recent scientific research by the UK government demonstrated that 90% of people in their 30s spend over 20 hours per week on Facebook, WhatsApp, Messenger and similar applications to chat with their friends instead of meeting up and spending quality time together or doing sport. As a result, it is conclusively clear that these automation advancements have weakened and diminished our real-life interactions. On the other hand, although there are significant downsides to technological developments, their manifold advantages cannot be denied. This is gorgeous because of the popularity of machinery such as cell phones allowing users to connect freely and easily with no geographical barriers. People are able to share any type of news, information, photos, and opinions with their loved ones whenever and wherever they want, thus keeping a feeling of proximity and closeness simultaneously. For example, an extensive study by Oxford University illustrated that those who work, or study abroad and use applications like Facetime and WhatsApp to chat with their families, are less likely to experience loneliness and feel out of the loop than those who do not. Being consistent with this line of thinking is that businessmen are also undoubtedly able to benefit from these advancements of technology by holding virtual real-time meetings using Skype, which may be escalating the chance of closing business deals without the need to fly especially in this pandemic -- CoVID-19. From the arguments and examples above-mentioned, I firmly believe that overall communication and sociability has been advanced enormously due to the huge technological progress of the past two decades and despite some potentially serious health implications which governments should not fail to address, it is predicted that its popularity will continue to flourish in the near future.
Experts throughout both the developing and developed world have debated

whether the advent of sophisticated modern technological electronic devices

such as mobile phones, laptops, and iPad

have
helped
to enhance and
improve
the social
lives
of all walks of life

or whether the opposite has become the case.

Personally
, I
strongly
advocate the former view.

This essay will discuss both sides using examples

from the UK
government
and Oxford University

to
demonstrate points and prove arguments.

On the one hand, there is ample, powerful, almost daily evidence that

such sophisticated equipment can be detrimental,

especially
to the younger generation

who are more
easily
affected
by its addictive nature

which
can result in
teenagers
feeling more isolated from society.

The central reason behind this is twofold,

firstly
, the invention of online social media sites and apps,

such as Twitter and Facebook have
reduced
crucial face-to-face interactions
dramatically
.

Through the
use
of these appealing and attractive media,

adolescents feel in touch and connected
yet
lack key social
skills
and the ability to communicate.
Secondly
, dependence on such devices
is built
up
frighteningly
easily
which may have a hazardous effect on mental health and encourage a sedentary lifestyle.

For example
, recent scientific research by the UK
government
demonstrated that

90% of
people
in their 30s spend over 20 hours per week on Facebook, WhatsApp, Messenger

and similar applications to chat with their friends

instead
of meeting up and spending quality time together or doing sport.

As a result
, it is
conclusively
clear
that

these
automation advancements have weakened and diminished our real-life interactions.

On the other hand
, although there are significant downsides to technological developments, their manifold advantages cannot
be denied
.

This is gorgeous
because
of the popularity of machinery

such
as cell phones allowing users to connect
freely
and
easily
with no geographical barriers.
People
are able to share any type of news, information, photos, and
opinions


with their
loved
ones whenever and wherever they want,

thus
keeping a feeling of proximity and closeness
simultaneously
.

For example
, an extensive study by Oxford University illustrated that

those who work, or study abroad and
use
applications

like
Facetime
and WhatsApp to chat with their families,

are less likely to experience loneliness

and
feel out of the loop than those who do not.

Being consistent with this line of thinking is that

businessmen
are
also
undoubtedly
able to benefit from these advancements of technology by holding virtual real-time meetings using Skype, which may be escalating the chance of closing business deals without the need to
fly
especially
in this pandemic --
CoVID-19
.

From the arguments and examples above-mentioned,

I
firmly
believe that
overall
communication and sociability has
been advanced
enormously
due to the huge technological progress of the past two decades

and despite
some
potentially
serious health implications

which
governments
should not fail to address,

it
is predicted
that its popularity will continue to flourish in the near future.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that technology has made man more social. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
40 paragraphs
484 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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