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Some people believe that students should study only science subjects. Others say that they should learn arts subjects too. Discuss both views, and give your opinion. v.1

Some people believe that students should study only science subjects. Others say that they should learn arts subjects too. v. 1
The argument, over whether students should study science or arts, has not been settled yet. It is often argued by some that only science subjects should be prioritized in order to have a successful career. Meanwhile, others still claim that along with science, arts subjects are also important as the world is deprived of the artists. This essay will explore both sides of the argument before reaching a logical opinion. On the one hand, the supporters of science subjects believe that those students who study science have a more successful future as compared to others. As in this contemporary, with the latest innovations in technology, scientists and engineers are in demand. Take an example of Google, where the highly paid job openings were for science graduates. Thus, studying science is to some extent useful for students. On the other hand, the advocates of the view that arts subjects should also be included in the syllabus believe that there is a shortage of artists in the world. As exposure to arts subjects during the study will capture the interest of pupils, so they will choose arts as a career in the future. For instance, a similar initiative was taken by the Swedish government, which resulted in shaping many talented painters and musicians. Hence, arts subjects along with science are beneficial for cultivating interest in students. However, from my perspective students can benefit a lot by studying both subjects. This would result in keeping them abreast of the latest technology, and also help them in selecting subjects for professional studies. To sum up, even though individual subjects can contribute to the career of a student, but I believe that the combination of both would work wonders.
The argument, over whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
, has not
been settled
yet
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
should
be prioritized
in order to have a successful career. Meanwhile, others
still
claim that along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as the world
is deprived
of the artists. This essay will explore both sides of the argument
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching a logical opinion.

On the one hand, the supporters of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
believe that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
have a more successful future as compared to others. As in this contemporary, with the latest innovations in technology, scientists and engineers are in demand. Take an example of Google, where the
highly
paid job openings were for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
graduates.
Thus
, studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
is to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent useful for students.

On the other hand
, the advocates of the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
should
also
be included
in the syllabus believe that there is a shortage of artists in the world. As exposure to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
during the study will capture the interest of pupils,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
as a career in the future.
For instance
, a similar initiative
was taken
by the Swedish
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, which resulted in shaping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
talented painters and musicians.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
are beneficial for cultivating interest in students.

However
, from my perspective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can benefit a lot by studying both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. This would result in keeping them abreast of the latest technology, and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in selecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
for professional studies.

To sum up,
even though
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
can contribute to the career of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe that the combination of both would work wonders.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that students should study only science subjects. Others say that they should learn arts subjects too. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
284 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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