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Some people believe that students better perform in school when they are rewarded rather when they are punished To what extended do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that students better perform in school when they are rewarded rather when they are punished 3aQ9X

Some dualists argue that pupils who are encouraged to keep their performance by means of rewarding methods would be continuing this trend more accurately, while their opponents discount, albeit with lassitude, that despite of all regarding benefits this issue offers, there exists a plethora of statistics illustrating vice versa, and suggest methods of punishment. Ergo, they aim to persuade devotees who are concerned with this difficulty in a quite distinct way which my principles contain allusion to the first notion thoroughly.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
Some
Possible spelling mistake found.duelists
dualists
 argue that pupils who are encouraged
 to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :retain
keep
 their performance by means of rewarding methods would be continuing this trend more accurately
, while their opponents discount, albeit with lassitude, that Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?despite
despite of
 all regarding benefits this issue offers, there exists a plethora of statistics illustrating vice versa, and suggest methods of punishment. Ergo, they aim to persuade devotees who are concerned
 with this difficulty in a quite distinct way which my principles contain allusion to the first
 notion thoroughly
. 

IELTS essay Some people believe that students better perform in school when they are rewarded rather when they are punished

Essay

American English

1 paragraphs

81 words

This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1

4.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
Include an introduction and conclusion
Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.5

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.5

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 5.5

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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