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Some people believe that sports create peace in world. Do you agree or disagree with ?

Some people believe that sports create peace in world. with? r8oDL
Today's world is reeling under the effects of hate crimes and cross-country terrorism. It is often believed that events such as intercountry sports meet will help to propagate the message of peace and brotherhood in the world. I completely accord with this view and in the course of my essay, will shed some light on the reasons which have shaped my opinion. To start the deliberation, Sports is a symbol of nationalism and patriotism. Any sports, If played in right spirit have several advantages to society. Both the players and spectators get emotionally stirred by the feeling of pride to one's own country. Thereupon, Youth of every nation follow their national games. While representing themselves internationally it gives them immense pleasure, they feel enthusiastic, energetic and full passion which makes them cogenial. As a result, Hosting countries also become friends. For Instance, the Olympic games held every four years. Most of The countries took participation. When respective National anthem plays, Each team players and audiences equally shows respect by standing and put their heads down. True sportsmen spirit always taught them to be humble and polite. Even though, The audience shows respect to players in spite of, knowing that they are representing another country. Moreover, there are a few countries which are in the world's map but still many people don't know them. Hence, Sports give them recognition worldwide. Furthermore, Sports fill the gap between hostile countries. Passion for sports is a common trend, which binds the neighbouring countries. To Exemplify, Ever since the partition of India and Pakistan, they were never in good terms. However, Their love for cricket connects the viewer of both countries. Despite having the political disputes still The audience enjoys the game and always be amicable to each other while watching the live matches. Even though players cheer each other at the end of the match irrespective of losing or winning it. Cricket is the most loved and watched sports in both countries. In conclusion, I completely agree with the opinion that sports played at international level helps in easing tension between countries and pervade the message of tolerance, peace and brotherhood.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
's world is reeling under the effects of hate crimes and cross-country terrorism. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
believed that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
intercountry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to propagate the message of peace and brotherhood in the world. I completely accord with this view and in the course of my essay, will shed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on the reasons which have shaped my opinion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
the deliberation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
is a symbol of nationalism and patriotism. Any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, If played in right spirit have several advantages to society. Both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
and spectators
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
emotionally
stirred by the feeling of pride to one's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Thereupon, Youth of every nation follow their national games. While representing themselves
internationally
it gives them immense pleasure, they feel enthusiastic, energetic and full passion which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them
Possible spelling mistake found.
cogenial
.
As a result
, Hosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
also
become friends.
For Instance
, the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Olympic games
held every four years. Most of The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
took participation. When respective National anthem plays, Each team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
and audiences
equally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
respect by standing and put their heads down. True sportsmen spirit always taught them to be humble and polite.
Even though
, The audience
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
respect to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
, knowing that they are representing another country.

Moreover
, there are a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which are in the world's map
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
don't know them.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
give them recognition worldwide.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
fill the gap between hostile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Passion for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is a common trend, which binds the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbouring' is British English.
neighbouring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. To Exemplify, Ever since the partition of India and Pakistan, they were never in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
terms.
However
, Their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
for cricket connects the viewer of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Despite having the political disputes
still
The audience enjoys the game and always be amicable to each other while watching the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
matches.
Even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
cheer each other at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the match irrespective of losing or winning it. Cricket is the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in both countries.

In conclusion
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
played at international level
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in easing tension between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and pervade the message of tolerance, peace and brotherhood.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that sports create peace in world. with?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
357 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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